Song Bird
by musicalocelot
Summary: Hello there! My name is Megan Pines. Yes, this is another story about Mabel and Dipper having an older sibling. It's not my fault this happened ya know! You must be wondering how I even know this sorta stuff. Well, you see, I came from the same place you did. I was a fan of Gravity Falls. Then I died. Now, I'm a character. Cool right? Well, kinda... (Twin's sibling!OC No Bill ship)
1. Chapter 1: Beginning

**(A/N) Hello there and welcome to my story! This is my first Gravity Falls story, and I'm really excited for it! The first couple chapters will just be back ground and stuff, then we'll get into the actual show. So, without further ado, here you go.**

 _Everything is cold. It's everywhere. Cold darkness all around me. Flipping me till up and down no longer exist. Flooding my lungs. Pulling me further in._

 _ **Consuming me...**_

 _All I can see is murky blackness. All I feel is cold. The darkness crashes me into rocks, but the numbing cold doesn't allow me to feel it. And I can't breath._

 _ **Can'tbreathcan'tbreathCAN'TBREATH...**_

 _And then it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. The cold has reached my brain, numbing it as well. Now nothing matters as I sink into the dark. Noting matters as my life drains away._

 _ **Am I dying?**_

 _ **Yes, yes I am...**_

 _ **Does it matter?**_

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 _Suddenly it's no longer cold. In fact, it's quite warm. I can feel a soft warmth all around me. It's so different from the crushing cold from before. It's almost like... like a hug. A warm hug._

 _I feel, so different. Almost like my whole body has changed. I can't open my eyes. I can't hardly move. Somehow, that doesn't matter._

 _ **I like it here.**_

 _ **I don't want to leave...**_

 _I can hear voices. They're muffled and distorted, but they are definitely voices. For some reason, a couple of them feel familiar. I feel like I know them. They make me feel safe._

 _ **Should I know them?**_

 _ **Should I feel safe?**_

 _Suddenly, my safe haven begins to move. The walls around me begin to shrink, as if they're being crushed from all sides. It's pushing me._

 _ **Why is it pushing me?**_

 _I move with the push, fearing I may be crushed if I stay. It's hard to move. All I can do is wiggle like a worm. I'm starting to feel much less safe. Why can't I move right? Why can't I see?_

 _ **What's happening?**_

 _ **Where am I?!**_

 _It feels like hours, though I really can't tell. It feels like I'm being pushed through a tunnel. There's a light at the end. The voices are getting louder. One voice stands out the most, but it isn't saying words. It's screaming. Why is it screaming? Why am I going out there? It sounds scary!_

 _ **I don't want to leave!**_

 _ **IDON'TWANTTOLEAVE!**_

 _And then I do._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Hello there! My name is Megan Pines. Yes yes, I know. Another story about Mabel and Dipper having an older sibling. It's not my fault this happened ya know!

You must be wondering how I even know this sorta stuff. Well, you see, I came from the same place you did. I was just a normal Gravity Falls fan. Okay, scratch that, I was just a Gravity Falls fan. I watched and re-watched it. I poured over the fan-art. I read the fanfictions. I loved it. Now I live it.

Of course, sometimes to get something really good, something really bad happens. I get to live my favorite show. I also had to die first. Yup, that's right. I died. But, because I'm a screw up who apparently can't even die properly, I didn't. Weird right? You read stories like that and they're cool and all, but you never really think it can actually happen. And then - **BAM** \- You're a baby.

Oh, sorry. You're not here to see me ramble about life and death are you? Well, I guess I better just leave you to the story then huh? I hope you enjoy my suffering. (Okay not all of it is suffering, but whatever.)

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

I wake up in a bed. A bed with bars? Tall bars surround me, closing me in. Where am I? And then it all comes rushing back.

" _I'll do it!"_

" _Is that safe?"_

" _Sure it is! It's totally frozen! See?"_

 _ **-CRACK-**_

" _Amy wait- AMY!"_

I scream. I scream and I cry because it's just not fair! I was too young to die! I had my whole life ahead of me! Now I'm lost and confused. I'm small and helpless. I'm trapped in a cage. I'm-

Being picked up.

A woman has her arms wrapped around me. She rocks me gently back and forth and mumbles things I can't quiet comprehend for some reason. _How can she hold me like that? Is she a giant?_

And then I finally put the pieces together. The warm, crushing tunnel. The strange experience afterward. The cage bed. The sudden inability to function properly.

 _I'm a baby!? Holy crap I'm a baby._

And speaking of crap, I've crapped in my diaper. Great.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Weeks pass, and I slowly begin to regain some form of motor skills. I can only really wave my arms and legs around and rock side to side a little, but at least it's something right?

My vision and hearing have greatly improved at least. Everything had been kind of blurry and muffled at first, but now I'm able to observe my surroundings. And that's just what I do.

I've discovered that my name is Megan Pines. My new mother's name is Catherine, and my new father's name is Alex. For some reason that name, Pines, feels familiar, but my memories are pretty fuzzy.

It seems my new parents are still teenagers. Heck, they're younger then me! Well, younger then me mentally at least. Of course, I was just days shy of twenty two when I died, so it's not too hard to see happening.

That's another thing. My memory. I can hardly remember anything. Stuff is coming to me in bits and pieces. I remember my age. Twenty two. I remember my old name. Amelia Green. I remember basic skills and other random junk. Thing is, that's just about it.

It scares me. I don't want to lose who I was. That was my life! Everything that makes me, me! If I lose that, what am I? Well, a baby I guess. I mean, my old life is over right? I'm starting over again. Maybe I should just accept it and move on.

NAH!

I don't want to forget. Not yet at least.

 _My name is Amy Green. I'm Twenty Two. I am not Megan Pines._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

A year. It's already been a whole year. Sometimes I still feel like this isn't real. Like this is some crazy dream that I'll wake up from any second. But it isn't, and I don't. I'm still in the body of baby Megan Pines.

It's not all that bad though. I like my parents. Catherine is so silly. She makes me crack up all the time with the funny faces she makes and silly things she says. I especially love it when we play together.

She brings out paper and crayons and I get to show off my advanced art skills. _Well, for a one year old at least. I'm still having trouble with these darn baby arms._ Same with blocks. She ooos and ahhhs and makes me feel like a super star.

Maybe it's just my baby mind making me all mushy, but I just can't help but love her. She's so beautiful too! With her pretty, chocolate brown hair and brilliant, golden brown eyes. I've seen myself in a mirror and am proud to say that I look just like her. Though for some reason, my eyes seem to glow a bit brighter a gold then it seems they should. _That's weird._

Then there's my dad, Alex. He also has brown hair and brown eyes, though his eyes are a deeper brown. He likes to play with me too. I love it when he throws me up in the air and catches me. I always liked thrilling stuff. _Like roller coasters! I can't wait till I'm tall enough for those._ _I bet he'll like them too! Maybe he'll take me someday?_

My days are simple. Alex goes to work, Catherine stays home and takes care of the house and me. I play with my toys and Catherine when she's not busy. She does work a couple days a week though. On those days my Grandpa Sherman stays and watches me.

Ah yes, Grandpa Shermy. He's not too bad. A little strict, but not too bad. His hair is gray, but I'm willing to bet it was once brown. It seems to be a Pines thing. Brown hair and brown eyes. He also wears glasses and has a bit of a big nose. I like to grab it when he holds me just cuz he makes funny noises when I do it.

I just can't help this weird nagging feeling I get when I hear his name though.

So, yeah, life is good. Being a baby sucks sometimes, but it can be fun. Honestly, I'm lucky to still be alive. Or should I say, alive again? Oh whatever.

I'm still doing my best to hold onto what I can still remember of my old life. Which isn't much. I have weird dreams every night. I see things I can't really make much sense of. Sometimes it's just odd things like little men in pointy hats and golf ball people. Sometimes it's confusing things like kids running through a forest, or a book with a six fingered hand on the front marked with a three.

Then there are the nightmares. I see a dinosaur creature that looks like the Lock Ness monster bearing down on me. I see a ghost with an ax sticking out of his head and blue fire for hair. I see trees with eyes . A head that's always screaming. A man falling through a frightening blue portal. _A triangle with one eye._

 _ **When Gravity Falls And Earth Becomes Sky,**_

 _ **Fear The Beast With Just One Eye.**_

Those dreams always wake me up screaming. I don't understand them. I've never seen things like that, have I? I can't remember. _Don't forget._

 _I'm Amy Green. I'm Twenty Three._ _I am not Megan Pines. Right?_

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Grandpa Shermy, where we goin'?"

"To the hospital dear. We're going to meet your new siblings."

It was just almost two weeks since my second birthday. I was sitting in a car seat in the back of Grandpa Sherman's car, kicking my legs back and forth. From what I could remember about my past, I had had siblings. Thing was, I was the youngest. I was used to being the baby of the family, and now I'm going to be a big sister! And there's two of them!

And there's that odd, nagging feeling again. I've always felt it around Grandpa Sherman, but it got even worse when I heard Catherine was pregnant. Especially when they declared it to be twins. I don't know why, but I have this odd feeling that my mind is trying to tell me something. _Something very important._

We pulled into the hospital and Grandpa Shermy helped me out of the car. He held my hand as we walked through the parking lot. We entered the hospital and Shermy walked up to the desk where a nurse told us where to go.

As we walked through the halls, Grandpa Sherman looked down at me.

"Megan, are you excited to be a big sister?" He asked me with a twinkle in his eye. I beamed up at him.

"Yep! I'm gonna be the best big sister ever!" I exclaimed loudly. A couple passersby giggled at my two year old cuteness. Sherman smiled. For some reason though, his smile looked a bit sad.

"Ya know, I had younger siblings too. I always thought I would be the best big brother..." He trailed off as his smile started to slip. I tugged on his hand and gave him my best pout.

"You never told me you had siblings." I said. We were almost there when he looked back down at me and smiled at my pouty look.

"Yes I do. Actually, one of them is already here. He's your Great Uncle Stan. I'm sure he'll love you to pieces."

I froze. My eyes snapped shut. Suddenly, on the backs of my eyelids, I saw in image of an old man dressed in a suit and a fez with a wide smile on his wrinkled face. Then I opened my eyes and it was like that image had jumped out of my mind and into the real world.

There he was, holding two small bundles in each arm, smiling so wide it looked like his face was gonna snap in half. He walked up to me, bent down on one knee, and looked right at me.

"So, you must be little Meg huh? I'm your Great Uncle Stan! Nice to meet ya kid." He said to me, never dropping his smile. From how happy he looked, it was as if he hadn't been in a long time. He gestured with his head down toward the bundles he was holding.

"And here are your new little grem- ****cough**** I mean siblings." He lifted up the one on his right.

"This pink one here is Mabel. Little slugger punched the doctor right in the face. Ha! She's gonna be a handful." Next he lifted up the one on his left.

"And the blue one is Mason. And I mean blue literally. That's how he came out. He'll be fine."

Then he pushed the infant closer to me. "And check out his forehead. That's the big dipper there! Right on his head! You might not know what that is yet, but just know it's cool."

The whole time he was speaking, I was still as a statue. Images were flashing in my mind. Scenes playing before me as if they were a television show. Thing is, they were. Finally everything clicked into place. The last name. Grandpa Sherman. The twins. Great Uncle Stan.

I hadn't just been reborn, I had been reborn into Gravity Falls.

 _My name was Amelia Green. Now it's Megan Pines._

 _I am Twenty Four, but I'm also Two._

 _I am Mabel and Dipper's big sister._

 _Lord help me._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 **(A/N And there it is! The beginning. I hope you like it. I have big plans for this fic! BIG PLANS! XD. Please let me know what you thought and don't forget to fave and follow! Okay okay you don't have to, but I would be happy enough to do a happy dance if you did :3. C'ya!)**


	2. Chapter 2: A New Adventure

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Mabel and Mason, happy birthday to you!" Everyone cheered and clapped as the song came to an end. Two excited three year-olds sat side by side in front of a half pink half blue cake with three candles sticking out the top. Mom stood on the other side of the table with a camcorder, I sat beside Mabel, and dad and Grandpa Shermy stood behind us kids.

"Alright you two, blow out your candles!" Dad said. Just as Dipper was about to start though, Mabel stood up and threw her hands in the air, nearly hitting the cake as she went.

"We can't daddy!" She exclaimed loudly. Everyone stared at her curiously.

"And why not sweetie?" Mom asked. Mabel looked over at mom and pointed at the cake.

"There's too many candles! I get one, Dippy get's one, but then there's another one that nobody gets!" Mabel was waving her hands around in an animated fashion, pointing at the candles on the cake. I couldn't help but be impressed with the little girls counting skills. Her and Dipper were pretty smart for toddlers. Of course, I was constantly trying to teach them stuff whenever we played together. _Glad to see my hard work is paying off._

I was pulled from my thoughts as Dipper too stood up.

"Yeah, she's right! We can't both blow out the candle! What are we gonna do?" Now both the toddlers looked near tears. Mom, dad, and grandpa looked at each other and smiled. Dad put an arm around both twins.

"Well looky here! We've got two of the smartest three year-olds ever to live and they can't figure out an answer? What do you two think we should do about this little problem huh?" He said with a grin. Both twins looked at dad, then at the candles which were starting to drip wax onto the cake, then at each other. With a smile, they turned to face me.

"Meggy! Meggy! You can blow out the other candle!" Dipper shouted happily.

"Then we can all get to blow one out!" Mabel added with a bright smile. Now everyone was looking at me expectantly. I blushed at the sudden attention, knowing I was on camera, but smiled none the less. Happily I joined the twins in front of the cake.

"Now make a wish kids." Grandpa said. I closed my eyes and made my wish, then altogether me and the twins blew out the candles.

 _I wish this could last forever._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

It had been three years since the twins were born. Three years since I had finally grasped the, pun fully intended, gravity of my situation. Three years since my world was, once again, flipped upside down.

During those three years, I had tried my best to hold on to every thing I could remember about the show. I didn't want to forget anything. I also tried to grasp all the memories I could of my old life. I didn't want to forget that either. For some reason though, Those particular memories were just so darn fuzzy. It was as if I were trying to wade through a thick fog. The memories of Gravity Falls were also a bit blurry, but not nearly as much as my time as Amy.

Sometimes it felt as if I were split in two. One half of me was Amelia, and the other half was Megan. Megan was floundering about her own mind trying to find Amelia, only able to catch quick glances of her every now and then. Like trying to chase after a ghost. _Isn't that what I'm doing though?_

A sudden bump in the road jolted me from my contemplation and back into reality. I was in the back seat of my parents car on my way to my first day in hel- I mean my first day of school. Honestly I wasn't nervous as much as I was annoyed. I mean, come on! I already went through school once, and now I have to go through it all again? Kindergarten was going to be a walk in the park. In fact, I was worried I might get so bored and annoyed by the stupidity of my 'lessons' and 'peers' that I might just do something stupid and get myself in trouble.

Mom must have seen the look on my face from the rear view mirror and misinterpreted.

"Are you scared honey?" She asked sweetly. "I know the first day of school can be scary, but don't you worry at all! You're a smart, sweet girl and I'm sure you'll do well and make lots of friends." Her voice was so sugary and comforting. _Oh mom, you have no idea just how wrong you are._ I thought bitterly. I couldn't help but smile though. Mom always looked on the bright side of things, just like Mabel. Even when she was totally wrong, she still managed to cheer me up with her bright tone and kind smile.

I hid my misgivings with a shining smile of my own. "Yeah, you're right mommy! It'll be fun! I can show everyone my amazingly awesome finger painting skills!" I shouted loudly, pouring on the false excitement. It seemed to work. Mom smiled back at me through the mirror as we pulled into the school.

Mom parked the car and we both walked into the school together. She led me to my class and just as we got to the door, she bent down and gave me a hug.

"Now remember dear, listen to your teacher and be nice to the other kids. Even if they're being stupid." She gave me a meaningful look with that last sentence. _Oh you know me well._ I hadn't exactly been that kind to my idiot cousins at our last family get together. They had ended up in tears within the first five minutes of hanging out with me. _What can I say, they were annoying. They just had to point out my eyes._

"Don't worry mommy, I'll be nice." I said sweetly. I wasn't entirely lying either. I didn't really want my whole class hating me. That would just make school so much worse.

With that said, she opened the door and led me in. I was introduced to my teacher, Mrs Moors, and mom left after giving me another hug.

 _When did I start referring to her in my mind as mom instead of Catherine?_

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Mr and Mrs Pines, this sort of behavior is unacceptable!" A voice screeched from the other side of the door. I sat on a chair kicking my legs back and forth and rubbing my hand. It still felt a little sore. I glanced around the hall and my eyes were drawn to a teacher walking by. She noticed me looking at her and gave me a sour look. I just stuck my tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes and walked on by.

"I'm sure she had a good reason-" My mother's voice was cut off.

"To punch another student in the face!" My irate teacher exclaimed.

Yeah. That happened. Do I feel bad for punching a five year-old in the face? A little. But do I feel bad for _punching a little punk_ in the face? No, no I do not.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 _We had just finished cleaning our hands after finger painting. I had painted a nice little picture of a house that looked suspiciously like the mystery shack surrounded by pine trees. The teacher had praised me up for it, though I couldn't help but notice the way she looked at me warily for a second when I smiled at her praise._

 _All of us kids were sitting on a large round rug with different toys spread out on the floor. I was alone, as it seemed the other kids were giving me a wide berth. Not really sure what to do with myself, I walked up to a group of four children who were playing with colorful wooden blocks, nervously tugging one of my pigtails._

" _Hi! My name's Megan. I'm really great with blocks, can I play with you guys?" I asked with a friendly smile and a wave. Instead of the childish excitement I was expecting, they all just looked at me weirdly and backed up. Except one._

 _He was a bit big for his age. Chubby, I should say. Maybe it was just baby fat, but I didn't really think so. He stood up and adjusted his glasses, giving me a look I wasn't really liking. With a sneer, he opened his stupid mouth._

" _You're weird. We don't like you." He said oh so intelligently. I frowned and crossed my arms._ What had I done to make them all hate me already?

" _Why?" I asked simply. The other kids behind him stood up and more had gathered around. I wondered why the teacher wasn't getting involved, but then remembered she had had to leave the class for a minute._

" _Cuz you're weird." He responded. The other students around me giggled. My eye twitched. Now I was just getting annoyed._

" _And what makes me so weird." I asked through grit teeth. My arms were now lowered and my hands were balled into fists at my sides. He pointed at my face. Somehow, I knew what he was going to say before he said it._

" _You're eyes glow. It's freaky! You're a freak!" He exclaimed._

" _Freaky eyes! Freaky eyes!" The other kids started chanting and pointing._

" _Freaky eyes! Freaky eyes!" My arms started shaking._

" _Freaky eyes! Freaky eyes!" The boy in front of me shouted, still pointing at me in a condescending way._

 _The teacher came in just in time to see my fist flying at the boys face._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

I know, I know, I could have handled that better. Normally, I may have, but for some reason, at that moment, I just couldn't. All those voices mocking me. Those hands pointing at me. It was like a cloud of negativity all focused on me. It was like I could feel their dislike rolling off them in waves. It was overwhelming.

So I snapped and punched a five year-old in glasses right in the face. _I will never live this down._ My ears perked when I heard my fathers voice speak up.

"Why exactly did she do it?" He asked. For a moment, there was silence on the other side of the door.

"W-well, I don't know really. I had to leave the class for a moment and when I got back Kyle was layed out on the floor." Mrs. Moors spluttered. More silence.

"So, you're telling me, not only did you leave your class of twenty some children unattended, but you didn't even ask for my daughters side of the story?" I could almost see my father's narrowed eyes and crossed arms. My heart swelled with the fact that he was defending me.

"Are you trying to tell me how to run my class? And why should I listen to the excuses of a child who just punched a boy? I don't care what he might have said to her, she is the one at fault here. And so are you if you condone such actions, Mr Pines." The teacher I was really starting to hate said in a scolding tone. _I can't help but agree a bit though. I really shouldn't have done that._

"And furthermore, if your daughter can't last even one hour without assaulting another student, then maybe she just isn't ready for public school." She huffed, landing the fatal blow to my pride. I looked down at my hands and frowned. Tears were coming to my eyes unbidden.

 _How could I be so stupid! I'm twenty seven darn it! I should have been the most mature kid in the class and I just go and lose my cool! Maybe she's right..._ And like an echo of my thoughts, my father spoke.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe she's just not ready for public school." He said calmly. I winced at his words. Then he spoke again.

"Which is why we're pulling her out and homeschooling her through kindergarten. Obviously, this school isn't as nurturing as we were led to believe and just won't do for our daughter." He stated. Through my shock, I heard the sounds of chairs scraping across the floor.

"Good day Mrs. Moors."

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

The ride home was silent. I wasn't really sure what to think about what had just happened, so I just distracted myself with the scenery outside my window, though I was too short to see much. It wasn't long before we arrived.

I followed my parents through the door with my head hanging down, still rubbing my hand guiltily as I'd been doing for a while now. Suddenly I was attacked by two munchkins.

"Meggy Meggy!" They both exclaimed together.

"Did you really punch a boy in the face?" Dipper asked enthusiastically.

"Did you make him cry?" Mabel asked with somehow even more enthusiasm.

I just sat there under a pile of toddlers kinda shocked. I sure wasn't expecting this. _Shouldn't they be disgusted? Scared even?_

The weight on top of me was soon lifted and placed back on their feet. Dad picked me up and soon we were all gathered in the living room.

"So Megan, why did you do it?" Grandpa Sherman asked. He had been at the house watching Dipper and Mabel while mom and dad were at the kindergarten. Now he was sitting in an easy chair looking at me intently. I cowered in my seat on the couch where I was sandwiched between my parents. Rubbing my arm, I looked down at my lap.

"W-well, everyone was avoiding me. Even the teacher looked at me funny. I just wanted to play with the other kids, but they started pointing at me and calling me freaky eyes. One boy called me a freak, so I punched him in his annoying face. I might have broken his glasses." I could feel the tears threatening to fall. "Maybe they were right." At that moment, I truly felt like the child I appeared to be. Just as I was certain I was going to get an ear full, I felt two arms wrap around me. I looked up, and there was my mother looking down at me.

"Megan, don't ever listen to people when they say things like that about you. You are not a freak. You are my beautiful little ball of sunshine." She smiled at me and kissed my forehead. I was in a state of shock once again when my dad pulled me to him and gave me a noogie.

"Kiddo, I feel proud that you stood up for yourself. Now I don't want you to run around punching kids in the face, and you will be punished for that young lady," He stated, bopping me on the nose. "but I understand why you did it. I might have to get you into some boxing classes though if you keep this sort of thing up!" Dad had a wide smile on his face as he chuckled. Mom and Grandpa Shermy joined him.

"Yeah!" Mabel exclaimed. "Then you can beat up all the bullies on the playground!" Dipper shoved his sister's arm.

"Mabel, daddy just said he _doesn't_ want Meggy beating up kids!" Dipper huffed.

"Aww, but it would be funny to watch them cry like babies!" Mabel pouted.

I couldn't help but laugh at the display, and neither could the adults. Suddenly, everything was right with the world, impending punishment or not.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

A year and a half later, I was laying in my bed, being lulled to sleep by the rain pattering against my window.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard my door opening. The light from the hall assaulted my eyes. I sat up in bed trying to protect my eyes from the horrible light as little footsteps made their way toward me. Two little bodies climbed onto my bed and hugged me with a death grip.

My tired mind caught up and I looked down at the four year-old twins clinging to me. Dipper looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Meg, Mabel was scared by the storm." He started. "I wasn't though, I just followed her." He added, though the blush on his cute little face said otherwise. I smiled down at them. Mabel was sniffling and I could tell Dipper was a bit scared too by the way he squeaked right along with his twin when lightning struck and thunder rolled.

I hugged them close to me. I knew just what to do. We had started doing this sort of thing some time last year. When one of them had a nightmare or was scared by a storm, they would both come to my room and I would do one of the things I didn't forget from my old life.

I would sing.

" _Pretty little song bird_

 _Just hatching from your egg_

 _Spreading out your wings_

 _And opening your eyes_

 _For the very first time._

 _Pretty little song bird_

 _Lift up your head_

 _When you first look at the sky_

 _You somehow know deep in your heart_

 _That you were meant to fly._

 _Pretty little song bird_

 _So small you are_

 _For now you rest_

 _Safe in your nest_

 _One day you will go far_

 _Pretty little song bird_

 _Now it's time to spread your wings_

 _It's time to take that leap_

 _That frightening leap of faith_

 _And see what life brings_

 _I know little song bird_

 _The nights are cold_

 _Keep a song deep in your heart_

 _For you knew right from the start_

 _That your dreams would carry you_

 _Strong and bold_

 _Pretty little song bird_

 _Don't forget who you are_

 _Time goes by so fast_

 _Please don't forget your past_

 _No matter how far_

 _Fly home"_

I yawned wide and looked down at my siblings. Both of them were sound asleep. It wasn't long before I joined them.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Happy birthday Megan!" My two little siblings shouted as I came down the stairs.

"Attack glitter!" Suddenly a huge cloud of glitter descended on me. Thankfully, I knew to close my eyes.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, though I could tell he was trying to hold in his giggles. I just stood there covered in glitter as my tired mind kicked into gear. Then I was running.

"I'm gonna get you Mabes!" I shouted as I chased after the fleeing five year-old.

Today was my eighth birthday. I had reached thirty, but I still felt like a kid. Maybe that was a good thing.

As both of us dashed through the kitchen we suddenly found ourselves in the air.

"Well well well, what have we got here?" Dad had both of us hooked by our armpits hanging in his arms. We kicked our legs in a pointless attempt to get away.

"It seems our mischievous little Mabel has covered the birthday girl in glitter." Mom said as she entered with Dipper. She had her hands behind her back suspiciously and a glint in her eye.

"It appears so." Dad added with a devious smile. I was starting to get a very bad feeling. "You know what this calls for kids?" Dad asked.

"No. What?" Mabel asked rising to the bait. Dad put us down and covered our eyes as mom covered Dippers with one hand.

"ATTACK GLITTER!" And then it was everywhere. _Did that really just happen?_ When my dad uncovered my eyes I saw that yes, yes it did. Mom and dad had literally just covered us and the kitchen in glitter.

It was only seconds before everyone started cracking up laughing. I was beside myself. I figured my parents must have overheard Mabel's plans for me and decided to join in the fun.

In this moment I could feel so much love, it was palpable. Like a warm feeling in my heart. _I love my family._

Suddenly I was in the middle of a glittery hug sandwich. "Happy birthday Meggers!" Mabel shouted in my ear. I winced at the volume and the nickname. Before I could tell her not to call me that, something was being shoved into my face.

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" Mabel and Dipper both chanted together as they rocked all three of us back and forth. I looked down at my hands and found a small package wrapped in glittery construction paper. 'From Dip n Mab' was written across it with hearts drawn around it. I smiled in excitement as I unwrapped my present.

Inside was a bracelet. It had an adjustable, black leather strap, but that wasn't what caught my eye. That would be the pendant. It was flat and golden, shaped like a bird, and had a musical note punched through the middle. It was beautiful.

Carefully, I slid it on my wrist. It felt perfect. I looked at it with awe and then looked up at my smiling siblings.

"Well, you like it?" Dipper asked nervously.

"We saw it in the store and thought it was perfect!" Mabel stated, her eyes shining cutely. I quickly captured them in a hug.

"No, I don't like it. I LOVE it!" I shouted, squeezing them tight. "You're right. It's perfect. Just like my little brother and sister!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

I was running. I had to run. Quickly. _Faster!_ People were chasing me. It was two boys, much bigger than me. They chased me around the playground as other kids jumped out of the way.

I was now ten years old. I had been homeschooled through kindergarten, but when I reached first grade I went into public school. Just like that first day of kindergarten, I had been avoided and picked on for my weird eyes. Though I still felt that overwhelming negative feeling, I had been able to reign in my temper.

My parents had helped me come up with a calming mechanism. When ever I would start to feel like I was about to punch something, or someone, I would start to sing. Sometimes in my head, sometimes under my breath. It helped a lot.

That didn't stop the other kids bullying though. Usually, it wasn't so bad. The other students would taunt and jeer, but as long as I kept my head down and just kept singing, I was fine. Normally. There had been a few mishaps which led to me also being hated by most of my teachers who now saw me as a 'problem child'.

It's not like there weren't any students who were nice to me. I wasn't the only kid in the school who was different and got bullied for it. Those kids just didn't seem to like being around me. I understood though. Being around me would put a bigger target on their backs. I still couldn't help but feel a bit bitter at their cowardice though. I tended to just stick to myself or hang out with Dipper and Mabel.

"She's over there! Get the freak!" The shout only made me run faster as I dodged a couple kids playing with a jump rope. I heard the sound of a crash and squeals behind me, but I kept going.

Why am I being chased you ask? Well I had just so happened to come across a scene on the playground that I deemed unforgivable. Those two boys that are chasing after me right now? They were picking on my little brother. Just as they taunted me for my eyes, Dipper was taunted for the very thing he was nick-named after, his birthmark. Now I can (usually) forgive and forget when it comes to picking on me, but when you pick on my little brother or sister? No way man.

I didn't punch them in the face. I had learned my lesson all those years ago. Instead, I punched them in the ego.

" _Wow, picking on kids two years younger than you now? And here I thought you were tough guys. Guess not."_

" _What did you say!?"_

Yeah, probably not my best idea ever. Well, it worked didn't it? They stopped picking on Dipper. Now I just had to avoid getting beat up.

I leaped over a balance beam and dashed around a corner of the school building. That's when I slipped on the ground still a bit wet from last night's rain and rolled my ankle.

"Ouch!" I clapped a hand over my mouth. Not that it really mattered though, they were gaining on me. Knowing I wasn't getting away this time, I dragged myself over to the wall and sat right at the corner. I curled up in a ball, hugging my legs and staying very still. I closed my eyes.

 _Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me._

I heard them coming closer and soon they came around the corner. I waited with baited breath for the first punch, or kick, or something. Nothing happened.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know. I thought I heard her."

"She must have kept running. Let's go!"

My eyes snapped open and I watched in confused wonder as the two boys who had been _right in front of me_ ran off as if they _hadn't seen me at all_. I just sat there with wide eyes trying to make sense of what just happened. Then I heard more footsteps round the corner and there was my little brother.

Dipper looked all around, even right at me, and didn't see me either, just as the bullies hadn't. It was almost as if I were invisible. _No, unnoticeable._ It looked like he was about to run off the way the bullies had gone.

"Dipper?" I asked, hoping he might see me if I spoke. It worked. His eyes zipped over to me and he did a double take. His eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"M-Megan, y-your eyes. They're glowing. M-more than usual." He stuttered out. I just gave him a confused look. _What does he mean by that?_ He pointed over at a puddle on the ground near us.

"Come look." He said. I crawled over to the puddle and looked at my reflection. Sure enough, he was right. My irises were glowing a bright, shining gold. At first it reminded me of how someones eyes look when Bill is possessing them, but on closer inspection I could see that the whites of my eyes were still very much white and my irises were still their normal round. It only lasted a few more seconds before they dimmed to their normal brightness.

I blinked my eyes a few times and nothing changed. Now I was thoroughly confused, and a little freaked out. I turned to Dipper who looked just as confused as I felt.

"Dip, did you see me when you came around the corner?" I asked slowly. He shook his head in the negative.

"No, not really. I didn't see you till you said my name." He answered. I looked the way those boys had gone.

"They didn't see me either. They went right by me and never noticed." I spoke softly. I felt two hands on my shoulders and looked over to see Dipper smiling at me.

"Megan, do you know what this means?" He asked. I shook my head dumbly. "It means my big sister has super powers! Wait until we tell Mabel! She's gonna wanna give you a super hero name and everything!" His excitement was easing my mind quickly, and I soon found myself smiling with him.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Hey Meg, you've met Great Uncle Stanford before right? What's he like?" Mabel asked me.

We were sitting in a bus on our way to Gravity Falls, Oregon. I was trying very, very hard to reign in my excitement. I had been waiting for this moment for nearly fifteen years! And now we're finally, FINALLY, going to Gravity Falls! You have no idea how much I wanted to squeal like a fangirl on ten cups of coffee. Or like Dipper meeting Ford for the first time. Speaking of Dipper.

"Yeah Meg, what is he like? I mean, he's never visited aside from the day we were born, and mom, dad, and grandpa never really talk about him. I know you were only two at the time, but can you remember anything?" Ah, Dipper and his never ending curiosity. I wish I could tell him just how much I know about Grunkle Stan, but that would be spoilers. I had no choice but to give a vague, unhelpful, slightly untruthful answer that really wasn't one.

"Well like you said Dipper, I was two. And I had just become a big sister. I was really too focused on you guys to pay much attention to him." They were disappointed that they weren't gonna get any more info than that, but it worked well enough.

I really did hate lying to them like that though. But seriously, how do you start that conversation? ' _Oh hey guys, did I ever tell you that I'm actually a thirty six year-old from another universe where the next three months of your lives are a cartoon? And by the way, Grunkle Stan has a dimension-hopping twin brother!'_ Yeah, that would go well.

I looked at my reflection in the window, my eyes standing out in the image, and sighed inwardly. Another gold object caught my eye and I looked down at the bracelet I'd been wearing since I was eight. I smiled.

Even with my future knowledge, I'm not really sure what the summer has in store for me. All I know is, no matter what happens, even if I face a fate worse than death, I will make sure my family is safe. _No matter what._

Here's to the start of a new adventure.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 **(A/N) Hey guys! I did not expect this chapter to get this long. Whew! Maybe this isn't very long to some people, but it was to me!**

 **Oh and btw, cuz I forgot it in the last chapter, here it is.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I am not Alex Hirsch nor am I attempting to impersonate Alex Hirsch. (Though he did kinda inspire Mr. Pines XD.) I do not own the show or any of the characters except Megan. (And my version of the Pines' parents I guess lol.) I do own the song in this chapter though. It's called "Fly Home" and was written entirely by me.**

 **I hope you liked this chapter cuz next time we're finally getting into the actual show. See you next time in my version of Tourist Trapped!**


	3. Chapter 3: Welcome to Gravity Falls

Ahh Gravity Falls. A small, peaceful little town out in the middle of nowhere. A place just like any other. A place where nothing ever happens.

Or so they say.

To some, this town is nothing special, but to others, it's anything but. Especially the three kids in a golf cart currently being chased by a creature of unspeakable horror.

You might be wondering how these kids found themselves in this situation... oh who am I kidding, of course you aren't! I'm still gonna tell you though, so sit back, grab a snack, and enjoy the show!

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 _Wow, it's even more majestic in person._ I could barely contain my excitement as we stood before the Mystery Shack for the very first time. I could hardly believe this was real. Yet, there it was, in all it's ramshackle glory.

My siblings, on the other hand, especially Dipper, didn't look quite as impressed. They looked the shack up and down and Dipper frowned.

"Well, this place is a dump." He said in a matter-of-fact way. Mabel nudged his arm.

"Awww come on Dipper, it can't be that bad." As she said this, a shingle fell off the roof and crashed onto the ground. "Or maybe it can." It was at this moment that a bang caught our attention.

In front of us, smoke rose from the ground, and out of the smoke came the Man of Mystery himself, our Grunkle Stan. "Hello nieces and nephew, I'm your great uncle Stan! Welcome to the Mystery Shack!" He stood in a wide armed pose, the hand which was holding his eight ball cane seemingly showing off the building behind him.

Three things happened. Mabel blinked, I tried not to squeal in excitement, and Dipper just stared, not really sure what to do with himself. This didn't seem to be the reaction Stan was looking for, and he deflated.

"Aww come on guys, I practiced for that." Me and Mabel gave each other a look and then broke into applause.

"Bravo, bravo!" Mabel cheered.

"Well done!" I added. This appeared to cheer him up a bit, as it put a smile back on his face. The old man walked up to us and ruffled me and Mabel's hair.

"All right all right, you two can stop sucking up now." We just gave him innocent smiles. He laughed. "Yup, you two will do good here." Then he looked down at Dipper who was looking up at him curiously.

"So, you're our great uncle then." The boy stated more then asked. He still didn't look too impressed. I gave him a look that practically screamed 'stop being so suspicious!'

Over the years, Dipper had gotten a lot less energetic and excitable and a lot more, well, like the Dipper you know from the show. As a child, he was just as much a ball of energy as Mabel, but, alas, such things just don't last. Unless you're Mabel of course. Or me apparently.

Dipper held out his hand. "I'm Dipper, and these are my sisters, Mabel and Megan." He introduced. It's not like Grunkle Stan didn't already know that, it would just be rude not to.

Grunkle Stan shook his hand, and nearly his entire body, and then showed us into our home for the summer. Per Stan's directions, we walked up the stairs into the attic and made our way to the bedroom. When I opened the door, Mabel was quick to run into the room and jump right on to a bed.

"I call this bed!" She said as she dumped her stuff onto the dingy mattress. I looked around the room. It was pretty much how I remembered it. One bed on the left, one on the right, a table with a couple lamps on it in between, and random stuff everywhere.

 _Wait a sec, where's my bed at?_ And then I turned around. A few feet from the door was a nook with a bed sitting in it. A loft was above it, making it like my own little cave. _It's perfect!_

"Mine! Mwahahahahahaha!" I cackled maniacally as I fell onto my bed. A plume of dust wafted into the air, making me cough and choke mid evil laughter, and Dipper and Mabel to laugh at me and my silliness.

Once my throat had been cleared, I sat up and looked over at Mabel who was putting up posters.

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" Mabel said enthusiastically, showing us her hands covered in the evil little chips of wood. I walked over to her and worriedly started picking the splinters out of her flesh, shaking my head as I did it.

"And there's a goat on my bed." At this I looked up to see that there indeed was a goat on Dipper's bed. It baaa'ed at him. In my distraction, Mabel got out of my grasp and walked up to the goat.

"Hey friend." She said to the goat. It bent down and grabbed hold of the arm of her sweater and started chewing.

"Oh, yes you can keep chewing on my sweater." I couldn't help but face-palm. Walking over, I separated the goat from my sister's arm.

"Oh, no you can't keep chewing on her sweater." Ignoring my sister's protests, I dragged her back to her bed and continued to pluck out splinters as Dipper shooed the stubborn goat out of the room.

"How did that goat even get in here?" Dipper asked. I just shrugged as I finished with Mabel's hands.

"Maybe it's a magical goat!" Mabel suggested.

"Or maybe Stan put it in here as a prank." I said as I went over to unpack my stuff.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

A few days went by and not much happened. Grunkle Stan put us to work in the shack, mostly just cleaning and stuff like that. We got settled into our room, setting up our corners how we wanted them. I put a sheet up in the front of my nook to give myself some semblance of privacy. Can ya blame me? I was used to having my own room. It wasn't like I really minded sharing with the twins, and most of the time the sheet was tied up, but it was still nice to have.

It wasn't too bad here so far. Well, spending the night at the county jail for counterfeiting last night sucked, but aside from that it wasn't too bad.

Grunkle Stan was a real piece of work as you can imagine. It was pretty fascinating to watch him at work fooling the idiot tourists who came into the Mystery Shack. The way he could work their seemingly tiny minds was hilarious! The old coot was a genius in his own way. An old, smelly, grumpy genius.

Dipper wasn't doing very well adjusting to the new environment. He seemed to have it stuck in his mind that this was going to be the most boring summer in the existence of ever. _Oh how wrong you are dear brother._ He also didn't seem to be taking well to Grunkle Stan's sense of humor. Like that jump scare prank he pulled on him the first day here. I thought it was hilarious personally. Oh well.

And then there was Mabel. Ever the optimist, she had been her usual bubbly self. Rolling down hills, chasing boys, dressing up the goat she had named Gompers, chasing boys. Oh, did I say chasing boys? Yeah, at first it was cute, but then it started getting kinda creepy. And speaking of, there she is at it again.

"He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" Mabel peered over a counter, her head between two Stan shaped bobble heads and her hands on her cheeks. A boy on the other side of the gift shop had seen a paper sitting on a barrel and began to read it out loud.

"Do you like me, yes, definitely, absolutely?" The poor, unnamed boy looked around in confusion.

"I rigged it." The preteen girl stated. She didn't get the chance to see the fruits of her labor, for her twin brother had gotten tired of her weird boy obsession.

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole boy crazy faze, but I think you're kinda over doing it with the whole crazy part." He said as he wiped down a jar full of creepy eyeballs.

I couldn't help but agree with him from where I was cleaning the outside of the aquarium that held that weird skeleton mermaid thing. I walked over to the twins as I heard Mabel blow a raspberry.

"Come on Dipper. This is our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!" I stuck my arms on top of Mabel's head and looked down at her.

"Mabel, sweetie, you're twelve. You can wait a little bit longer to have your 'epic summer romance.'" I said with a smirk. She shoved me off and fixed her hair, then pointed at me with all the drama she could muster.

"It's never too soon for love!" She said, finally making the now slightly creeped out boy from before flee the shop. Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but do you have to flirt with every guy you meet?"

"He has point there."

"Mock all you want siblings but I've got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." Her smug smile didn't last long. As if her words summoned him, 'the man of her dreams' walked in and turned out to be Stan. And boy did he look charming. Burps and all. I hope you can see my sarcasm. Seriously.

"Awww why?" Mabel cringed as me and Dipper laughed at her expense.

"All right all right look alive people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." All three of us Pines siblings were quick to say 'not it'.

"Uh, also not it." Soos piped up from the ladder he was on.

"Nobody asked you Soos." Stan said.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." Then he took a large bite of his chocolate bar that I was very much jealous of.

"Wendy, I need you to put up this sign!" Stan shouted to the red headed girl at the register. She didn't even look up from her magazine as she replied.

"I would but I, uh, can't, ugh, reach it, uh." I had to hide my snickers. _Ah classic Wendy._

"I'd fire all of you if I could. Alright, let's make it eenie" He pointed to Dipper. "meenie" He pointed to Mabel. "miney" He pointed to me. "You." He finished, landing on Dipper.

"Aw what? Grunkle Stan whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." Dipper complained. I nodded my head in agreement. I too got that feeling. Of course, I knew for a fact that we were most certainly being watched, and by who. I wasn't entirely comfortable with it either, but hey, what can ya do?

"Ugh, this again." Grunkle Stan huffed as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses.

"I'm telling you something weird is going on in this town. Just today my mosquito bites spelled out beware." He stated, holding up his arm for inspection. Grunkle Stan squinted as he read Dipper's arm.

"That says 'bewarb.'" He said, not impressed. "Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." He pointed over at a sweaty fat man creepily laughing as he held up a bobble head. I cringed in disgust. "So quit being so paranoid."

Dipper sighed as he left the shack. I had half a mind to follow him but honestly, I wanted to go out there just as much as he did. I walked up to Stan.

"Ya know Grunkle Stan, I think Dipper's right. This place has creepy vibes pouring out of it from every direction." I said. I couldn't just let Dipper's case be totally brushed aside now could I? Then Mabel appeared at my side.

"She would know Grunkle Stan. She's a psychic!" She added helpfully. Stan just rolled his eyes at her.

"Kid, your sister's not a psychic. Those aren't real." He stated in monotone. Then he started to walk back into the house. Mabel started to chase after him.

"But Grunkle Stan-" I cut her off by putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Mabel, if he didn't believe it before, he probably won't now." I told her.

Mabel had tried to convince our grunkle from the very beginning about my powers. He didn't believe it. Mostly cuz I couldn't really prove it. You see, I'm not the kind of psychic you would normally expect. I can't read minds, I can't lift things with my mind, I can't look into your soul or whatever. None of that. Believe me, I've tried. I'm more along the lines of an empath, but not really? It's hard to explain.

So far, I found that I can feel other people's emotions, especially when they're strong or focused on me. I can also feel people's presence near by and, if it's a presence I'm used to being around, can name it before I see them. Then there was that weird thing that happened in fifth grade where I was seemingly able to turn invisible or something. I'm still not sure about that one. Was never able to repeat it. So yeah, no solid proof.

"I wish we could make him believe." Mabel said. Then she brightened up. "Well, I'm gonna go out and explore some more. Maybe I'll find myself a boyfriend! See you later Megan!" She said with a wave as she left the shop.

"Be careful!" I shouted out to her.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa, shut up!"

About a half hour later, me and the twins were in the living room. Dipper had found the journal. You have no idea how badly I wanted to snatch it up and pour through it like there was no tomorrow, but that would have been very rude. Instead, I watched as Dipper geeked out over his find.

"And get this. After a certain point the pages just stop. Like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared."

 ****Ding-Dong****

All of us perked up at the sound of the door bell, though Mabel looked more excited than curious.

"Who's that?" I asked before Dipper could. Mabel smiled.

"Well, time to spill the beans." She leaned over and knocked over an empty can of beans on the side table that I know she must have put there just for that visual pun. "Bope, beans. This girl's got a date. Woot woot!" She laughed as she fell backwards onto the chair. Dipper face-palmed and I glared toward the front door. I did not like this development.

"Let me get this straight, in the half hour I was gone you already found a boyfriend?" Dipper asked incredulously.

"What can I say? I guess I'm just irresistible!" Mabel said as she flapped her sleeves around. Before I could get a word in, the doorbell rang again and Mabel went running. I decided not to follow her, knowing she wouldn't just run off with the guy before introducing him. I joined Dipper on the chair as he opened up the journal. Before we could even get started Grunkle Stan walked in with a can of Pitt.

"Watcha readin' there kids?" He asked us. Dipper nearly jumped out of his skin beside me. Trying to cover for himself, Dipper quickly stuck the journal behind a cushion and grabbed a magazine from the skull table, as if Grunkle Stan wasn't watching him do it.

"Oh we were just catching up on, gold chains for old men magazine?" I was certain that would fail, but all Grunkle Stan said was, "That's a good issue."

"Smooth one Dipper." I whispered to my little brother in a mocking tone. He just glared at me.

"Heeeeey familyyyyyy!" All three heads in the living room turned to the doorway. There stood Mabel with a big, metal mouthed smile. Beside her stood a figure in a black hoodie with his back turned to us. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" That's when he turned around. I instantly didn't like him, and I made it clear with my glare.

"Sup."

"Hey."

"How's it hangin'?"

"..."

"We met at the cemetery. He's really deep. Oh, a little muscle there. That's, what a surprise." Through that whole exchange I didn't stop staring (glaring) at the punk, and it seemed to be making him nervous. _Good, you should be._

"So what's your name?" Dipper asked. The guy looked back and forth, as if he was contemplating something.

"Uh, normal... MAN." His whole body seemed to shake with that last word. _Where did Mabel dig this guy up? Oh right, the cemetery. Great._

"He means Norman."

"Are you bleeding Norman?" Dipper asked, pointing toward the suspiciously red substance on the guy's face. I hadn't even noticed that. I had been too busy trying to figure out why I was feeling several different emotions from this guy at the same time. _Almost like there's more than one of him. But, that makes no sense._

"It's jam."

"I love Jam! Look at this!" Mabel said a little too excitedly for my taste. I stood up from the seat and walked over to Norman. I stopped right in front of him and reached up. He flinched, as though he thought I was going to hit him or something. Instead, I pulled off the stick that had been on his head and held it in front of his face.

"Oh, sorry Norman. I just noticed this twig sticking out of your hood. Ya know, I can think of plenty of other places I could put it, if you catch my drift." I said with an 'innocent' smile. From his nervous gulp, I figured he understood. Mabel, not really getting it, just smiled.

"See, they love you Norman!" She said happily. I could hear Grunkle Stan snickering behind me.

"So, you wanna go, hold hands, or whatever." Norman asked Mabel, though he shot me another nervous look while he spoke.

The permanent blush on Mabel's cheeks grew a deeper shade of red. "Oh, oh my goodness. Don't wait up!" And with that she ran off. Norman followed, though not before slamming into the door frame and breaking something on his way out.

I looked back to Dipper. By the way his eye twitched I could tell he was thinking the same thing as me. _There's something weird about Norman._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Dipper and I retreated to the upstairs room outside our bedroom. Dipper was sitting in front of the creepy window checking through the journal while I paced around waiting. I noticed a mirror standing at the far wall and walked over to it.

Through the layer of dust I saw my reflection. For a second, I expected to see long blond hair and green eyes, so when I instead saw short brown hair and gold eyes I was momentarily confused. This didn't always happen, I had mostly gotten used to having a different body. Sometimes, it just still got to me.

I straightened my red tank top and picked some lint off my black capris as I heard Dipper's mumbling turn into actual words. I walked over to him as he spoke.

"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers! Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious..." As I got to him he gasped. "ZOMBIE!" He screamed, which made me scream too from the sheer volume of it right by my ear.

"Dude, I'm right here. No need to kill my ear drums!" I said irritably. He didn't respond. I didn't mind, since I had heard the same sound he had. Groaning. It was coming from outside. We both looked out the window to see Norman making his way toward Mabel. By the way he walked, I was starting to agree with Dipper's assessment of him.

Both of us started yelling for Mabel to watch out as Norman put his hands around her neck. I was about to jump right out the window when he pulled his hands away to reveal... a necklace of daisies?

I sagged in relief seeing her unhurt. _For now at least._ Dipper climbed down from the window sill.

"Is our sister really dating a zombie?" He questioned. "Or am I just going nuts?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure." Soos piped up from where he was screwing in a light bulb. Dipper jumped in surprise. I hopped down from the sill and joined him.

"I couldn't help but overhear you questioning your sister about your sanity" He added. I giggled. Dipper chose to ignore that.

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie right?" Dipper asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, that guy just screams un-dead. He couldn't be anything else!" I stated.

"Hmm, how many brains did you see the guy eat?"

"Zero."

"Zilch."

Soos finished his light bulb screwing and looked down at us. "Look dudes, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman, pretty sure that dudes a werewolf." I nodded in agreement. _That guy is freakin' hairy!_ "But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise people will think you're major league koo-koo clocks."

"As always Soos, you're right." Dipper gave in with a nod.

"My wisdom is both a blessing, and a curse."

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" I cringed in disgust.

"I am needed elsewhere." Soos said, straightening his hat. I waved to him as he moon-walked out.

"Good luck big dude! Don't fall in!" I turned around to face my little brother. "So, detective time?" I asked.

"Detective time sister." He responded as he walked to our room to get his camcorder.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Mabel, we've gotta talk about Norman." We had been watching them all day. At the park playing Frisbee, at Greasy's diner, at the cemetery, just to name a few. We had seen enough. Now we had to try to get Mabel to see as well.

"Isn't he the best? Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" We both shouted out in horror when she turned her face to show us a big red mark on her cheek.

"Where is he!" I yelled, ready to punch him. _He better not of bit her!_

"Ha ha, gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower." She corrected. I sighed with relief. "That was fun."

"Look Mabel, you are in serious danger. Your boyfriend isn't the nice guy you think he is." I told her gently, hoping I could bring her to our side.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, confused. "Norman is awesome!"

"No, Mabel, listen, we're trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems." Dipper said, pulling the old book from his vest. Mabel gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

"You think he might be a vampire?" She stage whispered. "That would be so awesome!" I rolled my eyes. _As long as he doesn't sparkle._

"Guess again sister, shabam!" Dipper turned the book around to show Mabel. She shrieked. At first I thought it had been a success, but then I saw he had it turned to the page about gnomes. He noticed too.

"Oh wait, I'm sorry." He flipped the pages until he had it to the right one. "Shabam!"

"A zombie? That is not funny guys." Mabel huffed.

"We're not trying to make you laugh Mabes!" I said. "Please just take this seriously."

"It all adds up! The bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" Dipper sounded about as frustrated as I was getting.

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." She suggested. I face-palmed.

"Mabel, that doesn't happen every time. Come on, he limps and groans and falls all over everything!"

"Maybe he's just tired."

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls. Trust, no one." I frowned at that. I didn't totally agree with it, though in this case I guess it applied.

"Well what about me? Why can't you trust me?" Mabel asked seriously. Of course she ruined her seriousness when she put on her earrings with a "Beep bop."

"He's gonna eat your brain!" Dipper shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her.

"You gotta listen to us!" I pleaded.

"Dipper, Megan, you listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock and I'm gonna be adorable" She poked dipper in the chest. "and he's gonna be dreamy" She poked me in the stomach. "and I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" And with that she slammed the door in our faces.

We both turned our backs to the door and slid down to our butts.

"Well, that could have gone better." I sighed. Dipper let out a huff of air.

"What are we gonna do?"

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

We decided to go over our footage again. So far, it had given us a whole lot o' nothing. Sure, it looked incriminating to us, but it wasn't solid enough proof. I had gone over and sat at the card table. The owl clock chimed five.

 ****Ding-dong****

"Coming!" Mabel came running down the steps, putting on her sparkly cat sweater. She opened the door to reveal our zombie suspect. "Hey Norman. How do I look?" She asked, showing off her creation.

"Shiny." He answered.

"You always know what to say." They grabbed each others hands and walked off into the woods. Dipper and I sighed in our seats.

"Soos is right. We don't have any real evidence." Dipper said.

"Well, maybe we should try something else like-"

"Wait what!" Dipper shouted.

I shot out of my seat to see what he had found. He played a tape of Norman's _hand falling off_ and him _reattaching it._ Dipper screamed and caused the chair to fall over backwards, pushing me down onto my butt. My brother shot right up.

"We were right! Oh my god, oh my god!" He went running out the door calling for Grunkle Stan and I rushed after him. _Oh god oh god oh god. Mabel is alone in the woods with an actual zombie! And I just let her go! Stupid stupid stupid!_

We ran over to where Grunkle Stan was showing a group of tourists one of his sham attractions. "And here we have 'Rock That Looks Like a Face Rock'. The rock, that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?"

"No it looks like a face."

"Is it a face?"

"It's a rock that looks like a face!"

Dipper and I were jumping around trying to get his attention, but it didn't seem to be working. "Over here, Grunkle Stan!" "Hey!"

"For the fifth time, it's not an actual face."

I looked down at Dipper. "This isn't working. He's too busy to notice us." I sighed. Then I saw Wendy pull up with the Mystery Cart. I pointed over to her.

"Wendy. Wendy!" We ran over to the redhead as she was getting off. Dipper started flapping his arms around in his fright. "Wendy, we need to borrow the golf cart so we can save our sister from a zombie!" By the look she was giving Dipper, I was pretty sure she thought we were just playing a game or something. She handed Dipper the key.

"try not to hit any pedestrians!" She called to us as she walked away. _Welp, I'll take it._

We both clambered into the cart in a rush and Dipper put it in reverse. We didn't get far before we were stopped by everyone's favorite handy man. "Dudes it's me, Soos." He bent over, grabbed a shovel, and handed it to me. "This is for the zombies." He said.

"Thanks." Then he bent over again and handed me a baseball bat.

"And this is in case you see a pinata." He said seriously. We both blinked at him.

"Uh, thanks?" With that, I stuck our weapons in the back and we continued on our way.

"Better safe then sorry!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Which way did they go!" I shouted frantically as we sped through the forest.

"I don't know!" Dipper shouted back. Then he heard he scream.

"That way!" I yelled, pointing in the direction that Mabel's voice had come from.

"Don't worry Mabel, we'll save you from that zombie!" I held on tight to the side of the cart as we searched for our sister.

"Help!"

"Hold on!" Dipper made a hard left down a hill, taking us into the trees. I shrieked as I nearly fell right out of the small vehicle.

We approached a clearing where we came upon a scene we were not expecting.

"The more you struggle the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody. Just oho okay, just get her arm there Steve."

I stepped out of the golf cart as I watched my sister punch a tiny man in the gut, who ended up _puking rainbows_ beside a tree.

"What?"

"What the heck is goin' on here?" Another little person walked by us and hissed, causing Dipper to jump back and drop the shovel. I, in my shock, simply bent over and picked it up, handing it back to him.

"Guys! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks! Hair, hair hair hair..."

 _Gnomes. Gnomes... GNOMES!_ I mentally face-palmed. _How could I be so stupid! This is the first freakin' episode! This whole freakin' time! What is freakin' wrong with me!?_

"Aww come on!" I looked back up to see my sister tied to the ground.

"Hey hey! Let go of my sister!" Dipper shouted at the gnome standing on the rock who seemed to be the leader. I walked up behind him and glared at the little monster.

"Oh heh heh, hey there! Um, ya know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. Ya see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right honey?"

"You guys are butt faces! Mgumhmmm!" One of the gnomes cut her by covering her mouth with his tiny hands.

"You guys give her back or else." Dipper said as he lifted his shovel. I had neglected to grab the bat, so I just raised my fists instead.

"You seriously don't wanna know what I have planned for you." I threatened through grit teeth.

"You kids think you can stop us? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" Dipper cut him off by scooping him up with the shovel and tossing him aside. He then took this opportunity to cut Mabel loose and take her toward the cart. I couldn't help myself but kick a few of those annoying little gremlins that tried to chase after us.

"They're getting away with our queen! No no no!" I heard the leader who's name I couldn't bother to remember shout after us. We all climbed quickly into the Mystery Cart, Dipper and Mabel in the front and me in the back.

"Seat belts." Dipper said as he and Mabel put theirs on. I didn't have one, so I just settled with gripping onto the overhanging bar for dear life. We got outta there as fast as we could, but it wasn't long before I could feel a massive group of creatures coming after us.

"Um, guys-"

"Hurry before they come after us!"

"I wouldn't worry about. See their little legs? Ha, those suckers are tiny."

Then came the ground shaking sound of giant footsteps. I picked up the baseball bat I had been sitting on as a gargantuan monster made of gnomes came up behind us. "Dang." Mabel said. _Dang is right._

Ya know, when you're watching a show and you see people do stupid things like stop when they're being chased by some horrible monster, you think they're just stupid and you wouldn't do something like that in that situation. Well, you probably haven't been in one. It's terrifying.

Defying all logical sense, the beast roared at us. "Move, move." Mabel breathed in fright. And that's just what we did.

"Come back with our queen!" The leader on the top of the gnome monster's head shouted.

"Heck to the no!" I shouted back.

"It's getting closer!" Mabel informed helpfully. Suddenly gnomes were raining down on us from the sky. Some landed on the roof and started tearing it up. A couple flew toward me. Their mistake.

Now, I had never been that great at baseball. That little ball is hard to hit! But these gnomes were not baseballs, and I was actually having some fun beating the crap outta them with a baseball bat, as evil as that sounds. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stop the gnome that made it to the front and attached itself to Dipper's face. Of course, that's what little sisters are for.

"I'll save you Dipper!" Mabel shouted, then proceeded to punch the gnome repeatedly until it was flung away, still clutching on to his hat.

"Nice one!"

"Thanks Mabel."

"Don't mention it."

we heard a loud snapping sound behind us and turned to see the giant pulling a tree right out of the ground! And then it was sailing over our heads. "Look out!" We all screamed as Dipper tried to turn us too quickly. The cart was sent into a tail spin. It was the worst time to not be wearing a seat belt. I flew right out of the golf cart and smacked against a tree.

I didn't even have time to reorient myself before I was being lifted off the ground. "What the?" Suddenly I was being held ten feet high by a whole bunch of gnomes. Several of them grabbed onto me from different directions. Some of them grabbed at places they should not be touching. "Hey watch it you dirty little demons!" I shouted.

We approached the Mystery Shack, where our cart had fallen over and dumped the twins. Dipper crawled out and stood up facing the giant pile of gnomes. "Dipper!" I called out, truthfully frightened. I knew things were supposed to work out, but what if my presence changed that?

"Hey, put Megan down!" Dipper yelled as he threw his shovel at them. They simply punched it into the ground. Mabel and Dipper grabbed each other and screamed. "Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked. "Not here." Mabel responded. "Though I don't think that would change much." She added.

They were backed up against the wall. I tried to struggle my way out, but the gnomes only strengthened their hold on me.

"It's the end of the line kids. Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" With that they lifted me higher and squeezed me tighter till I could hardly breath. _They're gonna crush me!_

"Megan! Oh man, there's gotta be a way out of this" Dipper said frantically. I looked down at my siblings and watched as my little sister walked forward with a determined look on her face.

"I gotta do it." She said. _Yes Mabel! Hurry it up!_ Dipper was saying something to her, but I couldn't hear him well from where I was. Whatever he said, it obviously wasn't something encouraging. They whispered back and forth to each other till Dipper backed up. Mabel looked up toward the monster's head.

"Alright Jeff, I'll marry you." She announced.

"Hot dog!" The gnome monster stomped on the ground, jarring me in an uncomfortable way. The leader, now dubbed Jeff, made his way to the ground excitedly. Mabel kneeled down and Jeff presented her with a ring. He placed it on her finger and she admired it's beauty.

"Bada bing Bada bam! Now let's get you back into the forest honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel said, stopping the little man in his tracks.

"Well, eh, don't mind if I do." He nodded and then made a kissy face. Mabel leaned in, then leaned back and flipped the switch on the leaf blower that had been hiding in the bush. I cheered her on as she sucked the stupid little gnome right in.

"That's for lying to me!" She put it in reverse. "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Ow my face!"

"And this is for messing with my siblings!" She aimed Jeff at the gnome monster that still hadn't let go of me and was now holding me upside down. I could feel the blood rushing to my head. "Wanna do the honors?" She asked Dipper.

"On three."

"1... 2... 3!"

Jeff went flying at the other gnomes, breaking the monster into little gnome pieces. I fell onto my back with a relived, albeit pained, groan.

"Ahhhhh I'll get you back for this!"

"Anyone else want some?" Dipper taunted as Mabel blew the other gnomes away with her handy dandy leaf blower. I rubbed my head as I sat up. Soon I was encased by two sets of arms. I hugged them back, glad we were all safe now.

"Are you okay Meg?" Dipper asked worriedly as they pulled away.

"Been better." I answered. They helped me up on to my feet. I rubbed my side where I had hit that tree. _That's gonna be a big nasty bruise._

"Hey guys,I uh, I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me." Mabel said with a guilty look, her face toward the ground.

"Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there." Dipper said with a smile.

"Yeah, I was totally about to be crushed to death by a bunch of tiny dudes. You did awesome in my book!" I added.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." She said as she picked some leaves out of her hair.

"Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one will be a vampire." Dipper suggested. I chuckled.

"Oh, you're just saying that." Mabel laughed with a playful punch. Dipper lifted his arms.

"Awkward sibling hug?" He asked. Mabel lifted her own arms.

"Awkward sibling hug." They both hugged each other and said, "Pat pat." I never did join in on this, finding it just too cute. It was their thing! I had my own thing. I scooped them both up while they were still joined together.

"Crushing sibling hug!" I shouted as I squeezed them in my arms. We all laughed.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

The three of us walked into the gift shop, looking like we had just been dragged through the woods by our feet. I winced at the many bruises that were popping up everywhere. We looked up at Grunkle Stan who stood behind the counter counting today's earnings. He looked down at us.

"Yeesh, you three get hit by a bus or something?" He slapped the counter laughing. We just walked away, un-amused.

"Uh hey!" We turned our heads at his call. "Uh would-wouldn't you know it, I accidentally overstocked some inventory so uh, hows about each of you take one item from the gift shop. On the house ya know."

"Really?"

"What are you playin' at old man?"

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is do it before I change my mind now take somethin'."

We all smiled as we separated to search the gift shop for the perfect item. It had to be something cool. This was a one time offer after all. I looked around at the shelves of stupid, little, over priced nick-nacks and frowned. _Most of this stuff is junk. How am I gonna find anything cool here?_ Then something caught my eye. It was a small red pocket knife. I picked it up and flipped out the blade. Good condition. I smiled. _This could come in handy._

"And I will have a... grappling hook!" Mabel shouted. I turned around to see her fawning over her find. I smiled. _Gotta love the grappling hook._

"Wouldn't cha rather have a doll or something?" Grunkle Stan asked.

She shot it at a ceiling beam and pulled herself up, knocking over a box of fragile items on her way. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel shouted.

"Fair enough."

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

That night, I layed awake in my bed. I thought back on that day and one thought just wouldn't leave my head.

 _Why did I not notice waaaaaaay sooner?_

I come from a world where this summer is a cartoon. A cartoon I obsessed over! You would think I would have remembered the very first episode! _What else do I not remember?_ I set my mind to bringing up all it could about the show. That's when I began to panic. _I can hardly remember a thing?!_

No matter how hard I tried, all I could really come up with were major events, random smaller events, the outline of some episodes, and some random, unhelpful junk. _Augh! What good is future knowledge if I hardly even have any!?_

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as something occurred to me. _What if it doesn't even matter? What if just my presence here changes everything that's supposed to happen?_ I looked over to my peacefully sleeping siblings. _What if my presence here causes or changes events in a way that hurts them?_

I slapped myself in the face. _Don't think like that you idiot!_ I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, then let it out slowly. _I won't let that happen. I will keep them safe. Or at least, relatively safe._ With a nod, I turned onto my side and drifted off to sleep.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 **(A/N) Hiya guys! So, this chapter didn't come out as fast as the second one did. I think I've decided that I'm just gonna try to stick to a one chapter a week schedule. Now I'm not making any promises here, but I'll try.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed Tourist Trapped! C'ya!**


	4. Chapter 4: Aqua-phobia

"Go Sir Syrup!"

"Go Mounty Man!"

"Go Lady Maple!"

Three kids sat around the kitchen table in the Mystery Shack holding bottles of syrup over their faces. It slowly descended from the bottles as they cheered for their own syrup as if that would make it go faster. It was looking close when the younger girl tapped the bottom of her bottle and got a mouth full of sugary goodness.

"Yes!" She cheered as she started coughing and choking. "I won!" She said with another cough.

"You cheater." I scowled from across the table. The younger girl with braces grinned at me victoriously.

"Ho ho, no way." The only boy in the room exclaimed. "Mabel Megan check this out!" He leaned the magazine he was holding forward for his sisters to see.

"Whatcha got there Dipper?" I asked, looking over. Mabel leaned over, looking at the wrong page.

"Human sized hamster balls? I'm human sized!" She said with an excited look on her face. I rolled my eyes and smiled at her silliness.

"No no, Mabel this." Dipper corrected, pointing to the other page. "We see weirder stuff than that everyday." I nodded.

"Yeah, that doesn't even look real. Looks like some cheap movie prop or something." I scoffed. The twins laughed in agreement.

"Hey we didn't get any photos of those gnomes did we?" Dipper asked. I groaned.

"Ugh, don't remind me about those creeps. I was too busy getting crushed to take any pictures." I said, rubbing my now only lightly bruised side. It had been nearly a week, but it still felt a bit sore.

"Yeah, no pictures. Only memories!" Mabel stated. Then she lifted her hand. "And this beard hair."

"Why did you save that?" Dipper asked, sounding just as perplexed as I felt. Mabel shrugged. I turned around as I felt someone coming through the kitchen doorway. It was Stan holding a rolled up newspaper.

"Good morning knuckle heads. You three know what day it is?" He asked us. We all gave each other confused looks.

"Um, happy anniversary?"

"Mozel tov!"

"Taco Tuesday!"

It was Dipper who got a newspaper to the head. "It's family fun day genius." Grunkle Stan said, throwing the paper down onto the table and turning around to the fridge. "We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, ya know, bonding type deals." He explained as he sniffed the milk that had gone bad a few days ago.

Dipper straitened his hat as he spoke. "Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be like our last family bonding day?"

"Dipper," I started. "I don't know what that was but it was definitely not what I'd call a 'family bonding day.'" I said with certainty, my hand stretched out in front of me for emphases.

"Oh, the county jail was so cold." Mabel groaned with a shiver as if she was reliving the feeling. Grunkle Stan lifted up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker." He walked over to the uncertain looking twins and set his hands on their shoulders. "But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car!" I looked at him funny while my siblings cheered.

"Wait what?"

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

We were in the back seat of the Stanley Mobile and I was starting to get the feeling that we'd be better off if I drove us. Blind fold on or not. I was almost certain we had hit several mailboxes and small critters in only the last ten minutes. I had a white knuckle grip on the door handle to my left.

We made a sharp left which pushed us all to the right as the tires screeched. I heard my brother sigh beside me. "Blind folds never lead to anything good." He said. I made a grunt of agreement.

"Wow, I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers." I heard Dipper laughing beside me and wished I could see what was happening. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when we were all sent into the air by what I could only guess was the death of another poor animal. We all cried out in literal blind fear.

"Grunkle Stan are you wearing a blindfold?" Dipper asked. I heard a laugh from the front.

"Nah but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that a woodpecker?" We veered to the right and crashed through something, causing us all to scream.

"Not a wood pecker!" I cried out in terror.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Soon, though not nearly soon enough, we came to a stop. I nearly threw myself out of the car, kissing the ground in relief, still wearing my blindfold. "Oh, wonderful ground!" I cried out dramatically.

"Hardy har har. Drama queen." I heard Grunkle Stan grumble. "Okay okay, open em up!" He declared.

I lowered my blindfold and winced at the brightness as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight. There my great uncle stood, holding a couple fishing poles, with his foot propped up on a tackle box and arms out stretched. _When did he change his clothes?_ "Tada! It's fishing season!"

That's when I froze up, one eye twitching. We were at the lake. We were standing by a big body of water. We were standing by a big body of cold, dark, water. I wasn't even paying attention to the conversation going on around me. No, I was too busy freaking out.

 _Cold. Darkness. Fear. Can'tbreathcan'tbreathcan'tbreathcan'tbreathCAN'TBREA-_

"POW!" Suddenly I jolted as I felt something appear on my head, which brought me out of my mini panic attack. I blinked as I saw Stan smiling at me and the twins. "Pines family fishing hats! Tha-that's hand stitching ya know." I grabbed the thing on my head in a daze, lowering it to find that it was just as he had said, a fishing hat. There were several fish hooks stuck through the bottom. Stitched onto the front was the name Megan, though the 'N' was upside down and the 'G' looked ready to fall off.

I looked over to my siblings to see they also held corny hats of their own. Dipper caught my attention and gave me a concerned look. I sent him a small smile hoping to convince him I was fine. It seemed to reassure him enough.

"It's just gonna be you me and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!" He shouted. Somehow I stiffened further. _No way in hell._

"Ten hours?" Dipper whined.

"I brought the joke book." Grunkle Stan singsonged, wiggling his copy of '1001 Yuk' Em Ups' as if he thought that would make this situation any better.

Dipper flinched back in horror."No, no!" He shouted.

"There has to be a way out of this." Mabel said softly so only us two would hear. Suddenly there was a commotion at the end of the dock.

"I seen it! I seen it again!" And in came Old Man Mcgucket. My heart sank a bit as I watched the poor old guy run through fishing poles, knock over a table, and even hit an innocent sandwich out of some dude's hands. I could almost hear the banjo playing in the background as he grabbed a random man by the shoulders. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" Then he started doing some weird dance and slapped his knee. I just wanted to hug him, smelly or not.

"Aww, he's doing a happy jig." Mabel said. Mcgucket was suddenly right in her face.

"No! It's a jig of great danger!" He exclaimed, freaking out my poor siblings. I put my hands on their shoulders and pulled them back a bit so they wouldn't get spit on.

"Hey hey!" A shout was heard from the tackle shop as another man came out with a spray bottle. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my costumers. This is your last warning dad!" Tate Mcgucket said, spraying water on his father like a dog.

"But I got proof this time bygumity!" The old man declared, shielding himself from the offending water. Dipper and Mabel gave each other a curios glance before we all went to follow after the man. I stayed as close to the center of the dock as I could as we all made our way to the end. Mcgucket leaned over the end and pointed to a totaled boat.

"Behold! It's the Gobbledywonker what done did it!" He stood up and lifted his arms high above his head. "It had a long neck like a gee-raff and wrinkly skin like, like this gentleman right here." He pointed over to Grunkle Stan who stood beside me picking his ear. My face wrinkled up in disgust as he pulled out a wad of ear wax and wiped it on his fishing vest.

"It chawed ma boat up ta smitheroons, and shim shamed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" He pointed over to a large island, barely seen through a strange fog that seemed a bit out of place on such a nice day. "Ya gotta believe me!"

"Attention all units! We've got ourselves a crazy old man." Sheriff Blubs said from his police boat, causing all but the Mcguckets and Pines to break out laughing.

"Aww donkey shpittle. Er banjo polish" Old Man Mcgucket said sadly as he walked away. My heart went out to him. I knew he was the one who built the 'Gobblewonker', but still.

"Well that happened." Grunkle Stan said as he climbed down into a boat named 'Stan O' War'. "Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake." Quickly my sympathetic thoughts vanished as my fear creeped back in.

"Guys, did you hear what that old dude said?" Dipper asked us excitedly.

"Aww Donkey Shpittle!" Mabel said in a hillbilly accent. I chuckled a little at her impersonation. I would have joined her, but all I wanted to do at that moment was run for the trees.

"No the other thing. About the monster. If we could snag a photo of it we could split the prize three ways!" He said. Mabel's face lit up.

"That's a lot of ways!" She said.

"Imagine what you could do with three hundred thirty three dollars!" Dipper exclaimed. Mabel's eyes seemed to grow twice their normal size as she zoned out. Dipper had to snap his fingers in front of her face to pull her back into the real world.

"Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this." Mabel said in all seriousness. They then both turned to me, asking me my opinion with their eyes. I shrugged. That seemed answer enough. The twins turned around to approach our grunkle.

"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans, we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker." Him and Mabel Then started to chant "Monster hunt!" In unison. Mcgucket tried to join in, but only got weird looks and decided to go. That was when we all heard a ship horn and turned to see Soos pull up with a boat much better looking than Stan's dubbed the S.S. Cool Dude.

"You dudes say somethin' 'bout a monster hunt?"

If I remembered anything from this episode, I remembered what comes next. The choice. Go on the monster hunt, or stay with Grunkle Stan. Honestly, I didn't want to do either. Anything that involved actually going out onto the water didn't sound appealing to me in any way.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I have something called Aqua-phobia, fear of water/drowning. Can ya blame me? That was how I died after all. Every time I'm near a body of water, (like a lake, or a river, or a swimming pool, etc. etc.) I start to freak out. I've always tried to hide it from my siblings, so they don't know quite how bad it is. Trust me, it's bad.

As Mabel and Soos talked, I weighed my options. I could go with Dipper, Mabel, and Soos to chase after the Gobblewonker, but what help will I be? I'd be useless out on the water, and my presence wouldn't change much on the island would it?

I could go with Grunkle Stan, but again, I would be nothing but the human version of a scared cat on his boat. Well, at least a scared cat would be better than nothing right?

Then there's option number three. Chicken out, go back to the car, and wait there all day till they return. Number three was starting to sound good.

"Alright alright, let's think this through." Grunkle Stan started, catching my attention. "You kids could go waste your time on some 'epic monster finding adventure', or, you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

I knew what the twins answer would be. They both climbed up onto Soos' boat. They both looked over to me, still standing on the dock.

"You coming Meg?" Mabel asked me. I looked over to my siblings, then back toward the shore. Lastly, I looked over at Stan. He had a hopeful look in his eyes I could tell he was trying to hide. My decision was made. I looked over to Mabel and shook my head no.

"You guys go on without me." I said with a small smile. They both shrugged and then they were off.

"We made the right choice!" I heard Mabel shout as they sped away, hooting and hollering.

"Ingrates!" Stan shouted after them. I turned to look at him. "Aww, who needs 'em. I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep me company." He said. He cringed in disgust and shut the tackle box, then he looked over at me. "And I got you, right?" He asked. I smiled, trying to hide my fear. Remembering the fishing hat I was still holding, I stuck it on my head.

"Of course! Someone's gotta make sure you don't cause trouble." I said as I carefully lowered myself onto his little boat. I quickly sat down and gripped my seat hard to hide the way my hands were shaking. He stuck his arm around my shoulders, rocking the boat and causing me to squeak in panic.

"You kiddin'? Causin' trouble is what makes life fun kid! You remember that." He said with an ear to ear smile. With that, he went back over to his side and started the motor. It sputtered to life and then we were moving.

My grip on the seat tightened to the point I was surprised it didn't snap it, and I made another squeak. Grunkle Stan seemed to notice that time, and he looked over at me with a considering gaze.

"You alright there kid? You seem kinda freaked out." He stated more than asked.

"Oh I'm fine." It wasn't very convincing, as we had hit a bump while I was speaking and my voice had hitched in alarm. I gave a tight smile, hoping it might help sell my story. Usually, I was a better actress, but not at this moment. His expression turned to suspicion and I knew he had seen right through me, but then he just waved it off.

"Well alright then. If you say so." He said with a shrug.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Grunkle Stan had led us further out onto the lake till he found a spot he claimed was the best. I wondered if it was only the best because Soos and the twins were parked nearby, but I didn't bother to ask. Laughter was heard coming from their boat.

"Traitors. Aww, whatever. I've got a fishing buddy." He said, looking over at me and finally noticing that I was still just sitting there not doing anything. He looked at me expectantly.

"Ya know, we came out here to fish, not sit in a boat." He said. Then I figured it out. _He expects me to use that other fishing pole. He expects me to know how._

I had to hold in my laughter. _Me? Know how to fish? Right._ Even in my last life I could not remember really caring much for the water. I especially didn't in this one, so of course I had no idea what I was doing. I grabbed the pole and looked at it. I heard Stan sigh.

"You don't know how to fish do you?" He asked. I shook my head. "How could you not know how to fish?" He grumbled. "Look kid, I've already got it set up. Just cast the line. It's easy." He said, as if that was a good explanation. I looked back down to the pole, unsure of myself, then I just winged it.

I leaned my fishing pole back and then shot it forwards, sending the bobber thingy flying. At first, I thought I had done good, until it hit a guy in another boat right in the head and snatched his hat.

Grunkle Stan busted out laughing as the disgruntled man turned over toward us. Apologies seemed to be getting caught in my throat.

"Now what's the big idea?! You trying to kill me or somethin'?" He hollered. My tongue decided to work again.

"Sorry!" I shouted. "It's my first time fishing!" I added. Stan was still laughing rather unhelpfully.

"Well it'll be your last time fishing if you do that again!" The angry man shouted back as he steered his boat over to less hazardous waters.

"Ha ha, oh man kid. That was great!" Grunkle Stan weezed as he started to get his laughter under control.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Look when you're threadin' the line, a lot of people don't know this, but you wanna use a barrel knot. That's a secret from one fishin' buddy, to another."

I was sitting in the boat with my head in my hands, wishing I could disappear. It seemed Grunkle Stan was still sore about Dipper and Mabel ditching us. He had spotted the poor kid he was currently creeping out and decided to try to snag us another fishing buddy. I tried to tell him not to, but he ignored me.

"Sir sir sir! Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!" The frantic mother threatened.

"Ha ha, the thing about that is-" Grunkle Stan quickly revved up the motor and off we went, me biting back my scream.

"Go bother your own kid!" She shouted after us.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Okay, let's try this again. Just lean this pole back, and send it forward." Stan instructed as I once again held the fishing pole in my still slightly shacking hands. I nodded and did as he said. Again, I threw it a bit hard and it soared through the air. The coast was clear though, so it was all good. Until it suddenly wasn't. A boat drove up out of nowhere, right in the way of my line, and hit the guy right in the head. Oh, and of course it was the same guy as before, now missing his hat. _What is this, a cartoon? Oh, right..._

He turned around, and his angry look only got worse when he saw us. "Oops?" I winced. With a battle cry, the guy charged us.

"Step on it Stan!" I shouted, and the chase was on.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"Sorry about all that Grunkle Stan." I said, rubbing the back of my neck guiltily. That guy had chased us all around the lake, trying to ram us and causing all kinds of fuss. Eventually, the cops got involved. Unfortunately for us, the other dude got away and we didn't. Being only fourteen and a passenger, I was just let off with a warning, but Stan now had to where an ankle tracker.

"Aww don't worry about it. That guy way overreacted." He said with a chuckle. I cracked a small grin.

"Well I did hit him in the head with a fishing pole. Twice." I said, unable to hold in a laugh. Looking back, it was kinda funny.

"Yeah, you're either a really bad fisher, or have really good aim!" Grunkle Stan joked. We laughed together.

"Hey, how bout I show ya how to tie a proper fishin' knot!" Stan proposed with a grin. I smiled back.

"Sure." I answered. After all that had happened, I was starting to calm down. This was actually kinda fun. _Maybe the water isn't so bad after all..._

"Ger gah, molly coddling-"

"Can you pweese tell me mowe funny stowies pop-pop?" A young sounding voice piped up near us. We both lifted our heads and looked over to see another boat holding an old man and two little kids who had to be twins.

"Anything for my fishin' buddies." The old man said with a laugh, placing a hand on the young boy's head.

"Oh boy." I said under my breath as Stan growled. _Way to ruin the mood random strangers._

"Pop-pop, I just wealised that, I wuv you."

"Aww come on! Boo! Boo!" Shouted Stan, now standing up in the boat. The old man in the other boat didn't like this very much.

"H-hey now, what's the big idea?" He said, also standing. Then that annoying little kid opened his annoying mouth again.

"Maybe he has no-one who wuvs him pop-pop."

"Yeah, well I-I-" He didn't get to finish his sentence as the S.S. Cool Dude shot by us quick as a bullet, rocking the boat bad. I held onto the sides screaming for dear life, but it wasn't over yet. The robot Gobblewonker came past us, sending up a huge wave of water and tilting the boat nearly all the way over. It was enough though.

I lost my grip, and before I knew it I was in the water.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 _Water, everywhere, soaking me, weighing me down. I can't swim! I can't breath! No no no no no! Not again! Not again! I can't die like this again!_

I kicked my legs frantically, trying to find the surface, but it wasn't doing much good. Even if I once knew how to swim, I didn't now. I guess that's just the problem with being aqua-phobic. Since you're afraid of the water, you don't learn how to swim. Or at least I didn't. Pretty counterproductive isn't it?

I was beginning to see black at the edges of my vision as I sank. Then, like the hand of god, I saw someone reaching out. With the last of my quickly fading strength, I reached toward the hand. It grabbed my arm and I was being pulled up.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

I was dragged up onto something that wasn't water as I gagged and choked on the liquid in my lungs. I could feel someone patting my back. That helped. What didn't help was my state of mind. Even after I was able to breath again, it was erratic. I needed to calm down. I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I knew that, but at the same time it didn't really click with my head.

I curled up into a ball and started rocking back and forth as I hyperventilated. "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die. I don't wanna drown. I don't wanna die." The words were tumbling from my mouth without my even hardly noticing. I was trapped in my own little world of panic and fear.

 _I knew I should have gone back to the car! I knew I shouldn't have gotten in that darn boat! I knew this was a bad idea! Why did I do this? WHY?!_

"-id! Kid! Megan!" The voice broke through my mind. It sounded a bit panicked. I could feel something solid gripping my shoulders.

 _Solid. Stable. Safe._

I reached out and clung to my solid object like a drowning man to drift wood. I could feel the tears running down my face, salt mingling with lake water. I didn't normally cry nowadays, but at the moment I didn't care. My body shook as I tried to bring my mind back to some semblance of order.

I felt something patting my back again, but this time it was a lighter pat. More comforting. I stayed that way for a while until I was calmed down enough to bring myself back to reality.

It turned out the solid object I had been hugging like a teddy bear was my Grunkle Stan. Now that I was more aware, I could tell that he was feeling kinda awkward. _Understandable._ I pulled away, still slightly shaking and began to wipe the tears from my face.

Suddenly, I was feeling very embarrassed. _I can't believe I let anyone see me like that, much less Grunkle Stan!_ I hung my head, not daring to look him in the face.

"T-thanks." I managed to stutter out as I hugged myself. A few awkward moments passed as we just sat there. I heard Stan clear his throat, obviously trying to get my attention, and I nervously looked up at him.

"So." He started. "I'm guessing you don't know how to swim either."

"Nope." I answered.

"Okay. Why don't you know how to swim?" He asked. With that, I started rambling.

"Well, I don't really like swimming. Or the water. At all. I'm kinda like, well more than kinda, well more like waaaaaay more than kinda, scared of the water. Not like any water. I'm not afraid to drink or take a bath or go out in the rain or anything like that. It's just bigger things ya know? Like pools, rivers, ponds... lakes. I have aqua-phobia and it's just, yeah. Not good. Sooooo... yeah." I looked back up at him after I finished with my word vomit. He was looking a bit uncomfortable. I couldn't quite place what it was exactly though, with my mind still working on calming myself.

"So, why did you come out here then? If you're so afraid of the water?" He asked.

"Well, I didn't wanna leave you alone out here ya know." I answered truthfully. That's when it clicked and I realized I had said the wrong thing. It was guilt I saw in his eyes, that I felt coming off of him stronger now. _Oh no. Now he feels responsible for this! Stupid stupid!_

"Look kid, we can just head back to the shore and forget this happened. I shouldn't a dragged you out here in the first place. Let's just-"

"Wait!" I shouted, getting his attention. "Grunkle Stan, I'm sorry. I should have just been honest with you from the start. I should have told you. If this is anyone's fault, it's my own." I apologized. "Besides, I did have fun out here today, aside from the whole 'nearly drowning' thing, heh heh." I laughed nervously. Then I looked up at him with a smile.

"Ya know, maybe this is something I needed. I can't run from the water forever right?" He smiled back. It seemed that had helped.

"Yeah, you're right kid. You gotta face your fears head on! Show 'em who's boss round here!" He shouted.

"Yeah!"

"Who's boss?"

"Megan's boss!"

"I said who's boss?"

"MEGAN'S BOSS!"

And then we both broke down laughing. _Thanks Grunkle Stan._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

It was late in the day when we started heading back to the shore. We had had a good time, I even managed to catch a fish, but I could tell Grunkle Stan was still upset that the twins had never joined us. I perked up when I felt them nearby. I could see them coming up behind us.

"Hey, hey, over here!" Dipper called out. They pulled up beside us with what used to be a boat. Now I had to wonder how it even managed to float.

"Hi Megan!" Mabel said as Dipper took a picture of me and Stan. I smiled and waved.

"What the?" Stan said, confused. "Kids? I thought you two were off playing 'spin the bottle' with Soos." He said in accusation. Dipper rubbed him arm with a sheepish smile.

"Well we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur." He started. Mabel finished for him.

"But we realized the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with, is right here."

"Save your sympathy. We've been havin' a great time without ya. Makin' friends, hitting a guy in the head with a fishing pole. We had a run in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now so that'll be fun." I giggle at his recap of the day, glad he left out my near death experience.

"So I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" Dipper asked hopefully. Stan looked at them as they put on their fishing hats. That seemed to soften him up.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" He asked, obviously knowing they hadn't.

"Five bucks says you can't do it." Dipper wagered.

"You're on!" Dipper jumped onto the boat.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel added.

"I like those odds." Stan said as Mabel joined us. Then Soos came in behind me missing his shirt.

"Whoa, What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story dude."

"Alright, everybody get together. Say fishing." Dipper said as he pulled out his camera. Me and Stan gathered around Mabel, who I put an arm around, and did as Dipper said. Soos stepped up beside me, squishing me up against my sister.

"Dude am I in the frame?" He asked. The first of many pictures that day snapped as we all smiled.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 **(A/N) Okay, not giving any excuses. I did say no promises though didn't I? Yeah, sorry I was a couple days late. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you guys! C'ya next time!**


	5. Chapter 5: Wax People Are Creepy

"Doo de doo doo doo, goin' to get something good." I singsonged as I walked down the hallway. There was a skip in my step as I made my way to my destination.

Yesterday me and Soos had been talking and I had ended up revealing my favorite snack. One thing led to another, and Soos told me he would get me some when he went into town and bring it over today. So yes, I was excited. I hadn't had any since I got here! I needed my fix!

Stan had told me that Soos was cleaning up just down this hallway, so that's where I headed right after breakfast.

I rounded the corner and there was everyone's favorite handy man sweeping the floor. I ran over to him, stopping right in front of him with my hands clasped together and a big smile on my face.

"Did ya get it?" I asked excitedly. He presented it like the treasure it is. I could almost hear the singing of angels as I gazed upon it's beauty. My eyes widened to twice their size.

"Beef jerky." I said in awe. And three bags too! I jumped up and hugged the wonderful man before me. "Thank you thank you thank you!" I shouted.

"No problem dude. Happy to help." He responded, hugging me back. He set me down and handed me the jerky, which I hugged to my chest in happiness.

"I will make sure these last." I vowed. I made to turn around when suddenly I found myself falling, the bags of jerky flying from my hands as I went. I landed on my butt with an "oof!".

"Whoa dude, are you okay?" I heard Soos ask. I blinked as he held his hand out to help me up. I took it with a nod, rubbing my sore butt once I was standing.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What did I trip over anyway?" I asked, looking down at the floor, my snack food momentarily forgotten. Sitting on the floor was... a doorknob? Me and Soos shared a look of confusion. Soos bent over and picked up the doorknob, then looked over to his right. There on the wall was a hole the perfect size to fit the knob.

I watched as he placed the knob in the hole and twisted it, pulling it back like he was opening a door. Turned out, he was. Wall paper ripped as the seemingly long forgotten door opened with a screech, no doubt it's hinges were rusty.

We both stared into the doorway in awe at our find. "Whoa." We breathed in unison. We looked at each other and smiled.

"We just found a secret room." I said matter-of-factly.

"I know dude." Soos said in a similar tone. "Okay, I'm gonna go get Dipper and Mabel." He stated.

"While I scout out this new room." I added. We nodded to each other as he went to do as he had said. I turned towards the doorway and made my way down the steps. I quickly made it to the bottom, as it was a small staircase, and walked into the room.

All around me stood what looked to be wax figures. I recognized some of them. Robin Hood, Shakespeare, Larry King, oh and there's Sherlock Holmes. I walked up to him and stared at his wax face. There was just something about him, and all of them really, that was giving me the creeps. It was like I could... feel something there. _But that's impossible. Right?_

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I tapped on his magnifying glass. It didn't appear to be made of wax. "Must be a prop." I said to myself.

"Yeah it is." I jumped up in surprise and turned around to face Grunkle Stan, who was laughing at my reaction. _How did I not notice him come in? It must be the creepy vibes I'm getting messing with my head. I gotta get better then that!_

"Oh man kid, that was the first time I was able to sneak up on you. That was fun." He said mockingly. I rolled my eyes and gave him a good natured punch on the arm.

"And that will be the last time too." I huffed. Then I pointed behind me to the statue I had been previously examining. "So, what's up with the creepy wax figures?" I asked. He was just about to answer when foot steps sounded in the hall. A mischievous smile spread across my grunkle's face and he shoved me behind Genghis Khan.

"Hide here. I'm gonna scare the kids. It's gonna be good." He said with a wink. I once again rolled my eyes but smiled none the less.

"So I was talking to your sister when she tripped over a doorknob on the floor and we found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy." The door opened with a groan and the three of them walked in. I stayed hidden behind the rather large wax man, peeking around him to watch as they came closer.

"Whoa, it's a secret wax museum." Dipper said quietly as he shined his flashlight around. Mabel walked over to Sherlock and touched his arm.

"They're so life like." She said. I had to hold back a chuckle as Dipper walked over to a very still Grunkle Stan. He pointed his flash light at him.

"Except for that one."

"Hello!"

All of them screamed as I gave up holding in my laughter. "Ha ha, it's just me, your Grunkle Stan." This just caused them to scream louder, and me to laugh harder.

"Oh wow, your faces!" I wheezed. Grunkle Stan walked over to me chuckling.

"See, I told ya it'd be good." He said. I nodded in response, still trying to catch my breath.

"Oh yeah, hardy har har. Laugh it up." Dipper grumbled as he walked over to us, clearly unamused. Grunkle Stan lifted his hat and ruffled his hair.

"Aww lighten up kid. You know it was funny." He said. Dipper snatched his hat back and placed it on his now messy hair.

"What is all this anyway?" He asked.

"Aw yes." Grunkle Stan started as he walked to the middle of the room. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum. It was one of my most popular attractions. Before I forgot all about it." He scratched his chin, then walked further in, presenting his wax statues to us. "I got em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes... some kind a, I don't know, goblin man."

Dipper shivered. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?"

"Me." I said, raising my hand. Stan, either not hearing or choosing to ignore us, walked over toward a pile of melted wax on the floor.

"And now, for my personal favorite, Wax Abraham Lincoln. Right over-" He finally looked down to see the sorry state 'Abraham Lincoln' was in. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth I'm lookin' in your direction." He knelt down and stuck his finger in the melted wax with a sigh. "How do you fix a wax figure?"

Mabel walked over to him. "Cheer up Grunkle Stan!" She leaned up against him. "Where's that smile?" She then proceeded to poke him in the face. I winced, knowing how painful it could be. She has nearly taken out one of my eyes on multiple occasions, let me tell you.

"Don't worry Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" Mabel announced. Stan looked at her incredulously.

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?" He asked.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She lifted her arm to show she indeed had a glue gun stuck to her arm. She waved it around, trying to get it off to no avail.

"I like your gumption kid." Stan said, shooting her a finger gun.

"I don't know what that word means but thank you." She responded sweetly.

I walked over to the melted wax as Mabel began to gather it up. I wasn't getting any kind of feeling from this wax like I did the other statues that weren't melted. _What's going on here?_

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

I walked into the parlor with Dipper, him drinking from a can of Pitt Cola. I had gotten my jerky put away and now we were coming to check up on Mabel's progress with the new wax figure. Mabel sat on a stool in front of her block of wax, drawing on a notepad. Suddenly, she jumped up in front of us.

"Guys!" Dipper jumped in shock and choked on his soda while I patted his back. "What do you think of my wax figure idea?" She asked. She presented her artwork for our inspection. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!" She explained. I giggled. _Mabel is so imaginative._

"Maybe you should carve something from real life." Dipper suggested. Mabel started drawing on her notepad.

"Like a waffle," She turned it around. "With big arms!" She said. I waved my hand around in the air, bouncing on my toes.

"Ooo, ooo, Or a monkey with a lazer gun for a hand!" I added.

"Y-okay or something else, like-like someone in your family." From the way he said it, it almost seemed like he was suggesting himself. I sure wouldn't want a wax figure of myself. That would just be weird.

"Kids, have you seen my pants?" Grunkle Stan said as he walked in. He set his foot on a case on the floor and lifted his hand above his eyes, searching for his missing pants. I just looked at him, wondering, not for the first time, why he thinks it's okay to walk around in his boxers. _Maybe those really are just shorts? I'm not really sure._

Mabel turned away from us lookingup to the ceiling."Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways." She said.

"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?" Stan asked. I shrugged.

"She does that sometimes." I explained.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

For the rest of the day Mabel stayed in the parlor working on her project. It was late in the afternoon when she dragged me, Dipper, and Soos over to see her masterpiece. Looking up at the wax image of my great uncle, I let out an appreciative whistle. "Geez Mabel, you really out did yourself this time." I said in astonishment.

"No kidding." Dipper responded.

"I think, it needs more glitter." Mabel decided. Soos agreed with her and handed her a bucket of glitter. She splashed the statue with it, making it even shinier than it already was. Honestly, I liked this wax figure way more than those other ones. This one didn't let off any creepy vibes. It was just a person shaped pile of wax, like it should be. _That thing really does look just like Grunkle Stan! Like a wax twin! Wonder how he's gonna react to it..._ I didn't have to wait long to find out.

"I found my pants but now I'm missing my-" He stopped mid sentence as he looked up, then he fell backwards screaming. _Probably how I would react._ All four of us walked over to him. I looked at him concerned as Mabel leaned over him.

"What do you think?" She asked, excited to hear his opinion of her hard work.

"I think, the wax museum's back in business!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Woo! Go Mabel!" I cheered, giving her a hug. She hugged me back tightly.

"Aww thanks sis!"

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"This way guests! Come find your seats in a nice, orderly fashion!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Stan had decided to hold a grand showing for the reopening of the wax museum and unveiling of it's newest addition.

I huffed as I adjusted my hair clip I had on to hold back my bangs. Today's hair clip was a flower to match my floral patterned tank top. I thought I looked quite pretty. Of course, that seemed to be all I was doing.

Stan had asked me to help out by showing people to their seats. Most. Pointless. Job. Ever! How hard is it to find a chair and put your butt in it? _Screw this!_ With that thought, I walked over to the admissions table where Dipper and Wendy sat doing an actually helpful job.

"Hey guys!" I greeted as I leaned up against the table. They both looked over at me and waved.

"Hey Meg." Dipper answered back with a smile.

"Sup." Wendy said simply. I held out a hand, pointing toward the many people that had gathered at the Mystery Shack.

"Check out this crowd. Half the town must be here." I stated.

"Yeah, I can't believe so many people showed up." Dipper said in agreement. Wendy nodded.

"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something." She guessed.

"He bribed me." Dipper said, pulling a five from his vest. Wendy quickly mirrored this action, pulling one out of her shirt. They both laughed together as I gaped at them.

"You mean, he gave you guys money?" I asked them. They looked at me oddly.

"You mean you actually agreed to help without making him pay you?" Wendy answered with a question.

"I didn't think of that." I pouted. The others just laughed at me.

Soon, the sound of an organ was heard throughout the front yard. All heads turned to the stage as Stan Pines made his way to the mic. Behind him stood Soos, a keyboard, and most of the wax figures. Beside him stood Mabel and something hidden under a sheet. He cleared his throat, then tapped the mic, which caused it to let out some feedback that hurt everybody's hears. Grunkle Stan just went on like nothing happened.

"You all know me folks. Town darling, Mr. Mystery. Please ladies, control yourselves." Crickets chirped in the background. Everyone simply stared at him. Still, Stan was un-bothered. "As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known." I snorted at this. _That's true, I'm sure nobody has ever seen a stuffed gorilla wearing whitey-tighties._ "But enough about me. Behold, me!"

Stan pulled the sheet away to reveal hiswax doppelganger. Soos hit one of the keys on his keyboard, playing a celebratory sound, the added a few rounds of "Yeah!" to it. A few people clapped politely, but it was clear that the crowd wasn't the least bit impressed.

"And now a word from our own, Mabel-angelo!" Stan announced, handing the mic over to her.

"It's Mabel." She corrected as she walked forward on the stage. "Thank you for coming! I made this statue with my own two hands!" She shouted, lifting up those mentioned hands for emphasis. "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids." She added unnecessarily. The people groaned in disgust. Us three at the admissions table snickered. "Haha, yeah. I will now take questions. You there."

She pointed over into the crowd, and Mcgucket stood from his chair. "Old Man Mcgucket, local kook. Question, are the wax figures alive, and follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?" He asked in all seriousness. I nearly choked on my laughter. Wendy and my brother seemed to be having the same trouble.

"Um, yes! Next question!" She pointed to an unfortunately ugly man in the front.

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper, do you really think this constitutes as a wonder of the world?" He asked. _Fair question._ Stan didn't seem to agree.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster Toby." He pointed out. At this point my laughter won and I was barely holding myself up, trying my hardest not to laugh too loud. "Next question." Stan pointed to the back, where a woman sat. She stood up, holding an actual mic, though it seemed kind of pointless as she didn't even have a camera man around.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your fliers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" Her announcement caused a stirring in the crowd as people started to get ticked off.

Wendy and Dipper shared a concerned look.

"Of course he did." I muttered under my breath.

"Hey, you were right Wendy." Dipper pointed out.

Our attention turned back to the stage to see Stan's response. It wasn't a surprising one.

"That was a typo. Good night everyone!" With that, he threw down a smoke bomb. Suddenly, he ran by us grabbing the admissions box and booking it. I smiled and grabbed the few bucks that flew out, shoving them into the right pocket of my capris.

"I got payed after all." I said smugly, purposefully ignoring the angry people around us. Mabel walked over to us smiling.

"I think that went well."

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

Later that night, the pines family were all gathered in the living room. Dipper was sitting on the skull table reading a book, while I was sitting in front of the T.V. watching some stupid soap opera. Mabel was cleaning Wax Stan while real Stan counted his dirty earnings.

"Hot pumpkin pie, look at all this cash!" With Stan's exclamation I turned off the television, bored with it anyway. "And I owe it all to one person." He pointed over to the wax figure leaned up against the chair. "This guy." I rolled my eyes. Mabel punched his stomach lightly causing him to laugh and ruffle her hair. "Yeah you too ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got a long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go go." He shooed us out and we all obeyed, though I felt kinda stupid going to bed so early. _Not like I have much else to do anyways._

We all walked up to our room and I went over to my nook, lowering the sheet so I could change in privacy. I shrugged off my day clothes, pulled out my hair clip, and slipped into my night clothes, which consisted of a pair of purple pajama pants dotted with blue stars and a blue tank top. I wear a lot of tank tops.

I made my way to the bathroom to find my siblings had already started on brushing their teeth. I went to grab my own tooth brush. "Hey guys, you wanna do a tooth brush race?" Mabel asked.

"Okay." Dipper and me both responded with a shrug. Just as we were about to start, a cry was heard from downstairs.

"No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dipper and Mabel quickly cleaned out their mouths and we all ran down the stairs toward the room those cries had originated. _Did somebody die or something?_ When we made it to the bottom, I found out that someone had indeed died.

"Wax Stan, he's been, m-m-murdered!" Grunkle Stan shouted, pointing down to the now headless figure laying on the floor. The three of us gasped as the clock struck ten, Mabel fainting, only to be caught be Dipper.

"I'll go call the cops." I said as I walked off to the phone.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"I get up to use the john right, and when I come back, BLAMO! He's headless!"

"My expert handcrafting, besmirched, besmirched!"

The cops had arrived shortly and had come into the living room to 'inspect' the crime scene. One of them was a lanky looking white man, the other his complete opposite in appearance. They had introduced themselves as Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs. I remembered those two for how stupidly incompetent they are. I did not have my hopes up high.

"Who would do something like this?" Dipper asked as he and I attempted to comfort a crying Mabel. Deputy Durland, who had been writing in his note book, looked up.

"What's your opinion Sheriff Blubs?" He asked his partner. All eyes turned to the sheriff.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts. This case is unsolvable." He stated, moving to take a sip from his coffee.

"WHAT!?" The whole Pines family shouted in disbelief.

"You take that back Sheriff Blubs!" Grunkle Stan insisted, pointing an accusing finger at the shorter cop.

"You're kidding right?" Dipper asked incredulously. "There must be evidence, motives. You know I can help if you want." He offered.

"He's pretty talented with this sort of thing." I stepped forward to back him up. Mabel joined in.

"Yeah, he's really good. He figured out who was eating our tin cans." She said.

"All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah yeah, let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head." Stan suggested. Apparently, they weren't impressed.

"Woo, will ya looky what we got here. City boy thinks he gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone." The sheriff taunted.

"City boy! City boy!" Durland added oh so intelligently.

"You are adorable." Blubs continued. Both of the cops laughed at him. By then I could feel the steam coming out of my ears. Did I ever mention I have a bit of a short temper? Yeah, I wasn't about to let this slide. I marched forward with my fists clenched and my teeth grit.

"What gives you two idiots the right to laugh at him when you haven't even bothered to try huh? You haven't even looked! If they let you guys become cops, I wouldn't be surprised if they let Old Man Mcgucket run around with a badge and a gun. Heck, I bet Dipper, a twelve year old, is smarter then both of you combined!" I would have kept going if Dipper hadn't grabbed my arm and pulled me back. Of course, what I had already said was enough. Blubs looked ticked.

"I wouldn't go around insulting an officer of the law young lady. Shouldn't you be puttin' up a good example for your younger siblings? Keep this up and they'll end up being delinquents like yourself. In prison by the age of sixteen." He said with a sneer.

"Why you-" My brother wisely put a hand to my mouth, though he looked pretty angry himself.

"Look Pjs, why don't you leave the investigatin' to the grown ups okay." Blubs finished, sharing a high five with his partner. Then the radio came to life.

"Attention all units; Steve is going to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. I repeat, an entire cantaloupe."

"It's a twenty three sixteen!" Durland shouted.

"Let's move." Then the two of them ran off excitedly, laughing like children and making cops everywhere look bad.

"That's it, Mabel, Megan, we're gonna find the jerks who did this and get back that head." Dipper announced. "Then we'll see who's adorable." He added, just before he sneezed cutely.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten." Mabel cooed. Dipper gave her an annoyed look that would have made me laugh any other time. As the twins went off to go to bed, I stood there with my arms crossed.

 _Is Sheriff Blubs right? Am I setting a bad example for the twins? Am I gonna be the reason one of them ends up in jail one day? Or worse? What if-_ I was pulled from my musings by a hand landing on my shoulder. I looked up, startled, to find Grunkle Stan giving me a meaningful look.

"Stop thinking what you're thinking." He said bluntly. I blinked at him, surprise showing on my face. "You think I couldn't guess from the look on your face? Look, you were right, those two are complete dunder heads. So why are you lettin' them get to you? Haven't I taught you not to listen to the cops?" He asked matter-of-factly.

I looked down, considering this. _He's right. Well, maybe not about that last part._ I thought with a tired chuckle, a small grin on my face. "Get some sleep kid. You're probably gonna have a long day tomorrow." He said. I looked back up at him and did something that surprised him. I gave him a big ol' hug.

"Thanks Grunkle Stan. Good night." I said, then I quickly left, feeling a bit better. _He somehow always knows what to say when I need it..._

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

After finishing up with the toilet paper throwing and picture pinning, we had set up our work area at the scene of the crime. Mabel was currently taking pictures of Wax Stan. While Dipper paced behind me, I examined the photos of our suspects. _Wendy's dad, Mcgucket, Robbie, oh look, that time travel guy! What was his name again?_

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." Dipper announced, catching my attention. He turned around to the picture board. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."

"Yeah, even us!" Mabel said.

"Got something to tell us Mabel?" I joked. She stuck her tongue out at me.

"In this town, anything is possible." Dipper said as he pulled out the journal and flipped it open. "Ghosts, zombies, could be months before we find our first clue?" Not even a second later Mabel found a clue.

"Foot prints in the shag carpet." Dipper pointed out. I face palmed.

"How did we miss that? How did the cops miss that?" I asked.

"I have no idea." Dipper responded.

"Yeah, me neither, but look, they have a hole in them. Isn't that weird?" Mabel said, pointing to the prints that indeed had a hole in them.

"Huh, that is weird." I

"Yes, but where do they lead?" Dipper asked, following the foot prints to...

"An ax? The perfect murder weapon."

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

We were standing in the gift shop, waiting for Soos to finish inspecting our find. We figured it would be good to get a second opinion.

"So what do you think?" Dipper asked him. Soos looked at it, then answered.

"In my opinion, this is an ax." He said. My face fell.

"Yeah, that's real helpful Soos." I deadpanned.

"You're welcome." Soos said, not seeing my sarcasm.

"Wait a minute, the lumber jack!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Of course." The three of us said together.

"He was furious when he didn't get his free pizza."

"Furious enough to do something crazy."

"Furious enough for MURDER!"

"Oh you mean Manley Dan." Soos started, getting us to turn our heads to him. "He hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." He finished.

"Then that's where we're going." Mabel announced. Then Soos grabbed our attention again.

"Dude this is awesome. You three are like, the Mystery Trio" Soos said. I smiled. _The Mystery_ Trio _huh? I hate to ruin the whole 'Mystery Twins' thing, but this is pretty cool._

"Don't call us that." Dipper didn't seem to think so.

We went through the door, past the goat, and hopped off the porch, intent on getting to our destination quickly. As we began our walk to town, we were stopped by Stan, who had just gotten back. He was pulling something out of the trunk.

"Hey, gimme a hand with this coffin will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for Wax Stan. Somethin' small but, classy." He continued to pull the coffin out from the car.

"Sorry Grunkle Stan but we've got a big break in the case." Dipper said.

"Break in the case!" Mabel added.

"We're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer." He elaborated.

"We're going to a bar." I stated simply.

"We have an ax!" Mabel said, pulling the aforementioned ax from Dipper's backpack and swinging it a few times. "REE REE REE!"

Stan looked at us. "Huh, this seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want ya doing." He said. We held our breath, thinking he would stop us. We needn't have worried. "Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids! AVENGE ME!" He shouted to the heavens.

"And he calls me a drama queen." I joked, pointing at him in his dramatic pose.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

We were in downtown Gravity Falls, standing beside a dumpster not far from the Skull Fracture. Well, Dipper and I were standing beside it, Mabel was in it.

"This is the place." Dipper said, looking at the paper Soos had written the information on for us. He stuck it back in his vest and we all looked around the dumpster. Standing in front of the door was a very large man covered in very pointless looking tattoos. It was obvious he was playing the role of bouncer. He looked in our direction and we all ducked our heads back quickly.

"Got the fake IDs?" Dipper asked Mabel. She handed them down to us. I looked at mine and frowned.

"Madam Meggers? Really Mabel?" I asked in annoyance. She just beamed at me. _She knows I hate that nickname! Little stinker._

"Here goes nothing." Dipper said, then he led the way over to the bouncer. We had to get in line, as there was a man in front of us. The bouncer looked over his ID.

"Sorry, we don't serve miners." He said. The man, clearly a miner with his pickax and hard hat, grumbled and walked away. We stepped forward. I put on the most serious face I could and tried to look like an adult. The fact that I was wearing a tank top with a blue kitten with wings on it didn't help much.

"We're here to interrogate Manley Dan the lumber jack for the murder of Wax Stan." Mabel explained as we showed him our IDs that were so fake it was painfully obvious. Mabel made it even worse by shaking hers, making the googly eyes move around. _This is not going to work._

The man gave them a good look, squinted, then shrugged. "Works for me." My jaw dropped in shock, but I quickly composed myself as the guy who apparently needed some strong glasses opened the door for us. We entered without a word.

The scene in front of us was not a pretty one. Large, scary looking men were everywhere. Playing pool, drinking alcohol, beating each other up. _Are there even any women in here?_ I looked over to the right and saw one. Or at least, I think it was a woman. She was oddly hairy. _Never mind._

We went further in, walking over the legs of a man who was laying on the ground for some reason. His face looked pretty messed up.

"He's resting." Mabel said optimistically. I just decided to agree with her and let it be.

"Alright let's just try to blend in okay?" Dipper said as he walked toward the other side of the bar.

"You got it dipping sauce!" Mabel said, hopping onto a bar stool.

"Blend in. Right." I looked around, not really sure how I was going to 'blend in'. I wandered around a bit, then found myself near the pool table where a heated game was taking place. There were only three balls left on the table. One was the eight ball, and two were solids.

The man who was apparently on team stripes was lining up to take his shot for the eight ball to win the game. He went for it, hit the eight ball, and almost got it in by just a hair. He yelled out in frustration. That's when I tripped on a bottle on the floor and hit the table, causing the eight ball to fall into the pocket, ending the game.

I lifted myself off the floor with a groan and looked up. Stripes was doing a victory dance with his buddies cheering him on. Then I got a good look at the other guy. _Oh no, it can't be._ It was. The man from the lake, that I had hit with a fishing pole two times, was standing there glaring at me, seething with anger.

"Oops." I said with a nervous smile. I could almost see the smoke puff out of his nose as he snorted like a bull.

"You're dead!" He shouted.

"Eep!" I squealed, making a run for it. "Will I always be running from guys who wanna beat me up!?"

I weaved through the other bar patrons as I ran from the angry man. He shoved people aside as we went, making a lot of people angry at him. As I ran past the door, two hands grabbed my arm and pulled me outside. I landed on my butt and looked up to see my siblings.

"Good job blending in." Dipper said sarcastically.

"Haha. Thanks for the save." I answered, standing up and brushing myself off.

"Anytime sister." Mabel said with a smile. "Guess what, Dipper found a way for us to find out who the murderer is!" She announced. I looked at Dipper confused.

"It wasn't the lumber jack?" I asked. Dipper shook his head. We started walking down the road as he spoke.

"Nope. He had a good alibi. He told me that this is a left handed ax." Dipper said, pulling out a notepad. "These are all our suspects. Manley Dan is right handed. That means all we gotta do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer." He said. We all smiled at each other.

"We are so awesome!" I shouted.

"I know! We are on fire today!" Mabel exclaimed. She pointed her fingers to the sky and made lazer gun noises.

"Let's find that murderer." Dipper said. We did a three way fist bump, then we were off.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

"You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it." Sheriff Blubs said as we stood outside of The Gravity Falls Gossiper.

We had spent the entire day running around town, trying to determine who among our suspect list was left handed. At the end of the day, it all led to this.

"It couldn't be anyone else." I said confidently.

"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper said with the same tone.

"It's so irrefutable." Mabel added. It seemed our confidence encouraged the two cops.

"I'm gonna get to use my nightstick!" Durland said with way to much excitement.

"You ready? You ready little fella?" Blubs asked his partner. They both started hooting and hollering. I rolled my eyes.

"On three. One, two, three!" With that, Deputy Durland kicked open the door and we all charged in.

Nobody move! This is a raid!" Sheriff Blubs announced. Toby Determined shrieked as he fell from his chair in fright.

"What is this? Some kind of raid?" He asked. Durland smashed a vase with his nightstick in his excitement. I face palmed. _Yup, this town is full of idiots._

"Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan."

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work."

"You also have the right to remain silent. Please, I don't wanna get infected with your stupid." He didn't listen to me.

"Gobbling goose feathers, I don't understand!" He shouted in confusion. I scoffed at his innocent act.

"Then allow me to explain." Dipper said. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper, but when the show was a flop, you decided to go and make your own headline." He said. I started waving my hand in the air.

"Ooo! Ooo! I love this part! Can I say it?" I asked. Dipper rolled his eyes, but nodded none the less.

"But you were sloppy, and all the clues led to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed." I finished with a mega watt smile.

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Mabel said, crumpling the newspaper she was holding and throwing it behind her back for emphasis. All three of us stood there, basking in our victory, until Toby started talking.

"Boy your little knees must be sore. From jumping to conclusions!" He said, then did a weird little dance. "I had nothing to do with that murder."

"I knew it- wait what?" We all started talking among ourselves, confused at this announcement.

"Then where were you the night of the break-in." Blubs asked, for once sounding intelligent. A nervous look broke out on Toby's face. He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a tape, sticking it into a VCR. It was security footage from last night. On the screen, Toby opened at cupboard and pulled out a cardboard cutout.

"Finally we can be alone, cardboard cutout of female news reporter Shandra Jimenez." He said, then proceeded to make out with it.

We all cringed and made sounds of disgust as I put my hands of the eyes of my younger siblings. They did not need to be seeing that.

"Time stamp confirmed. Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature." Blubs said, not fully recovered from what he had just seen.

"But, But it has to be him!" Dipper insisted. "Check the ax for finger prints!" The two cops did as they were asked, powdering the ax and checking over it with a black-light. Blubs looked up at us.

"No prints at all." He stated. _What the... how?_

"No prints?" Dipper asked, mirroring my thoughts.

"Hey I got a headline for ya. 'City Kids Waste Everyone's Time'." The three men in the room began to laugh at our expense. We all rubbed ourselves in an embarrassed manner.

"Dang this sucks." I stated. The twins grunted in agreement.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you three." Toby mocked as he stood in front of the T.V. That was still playing his cardboard make-out session. I pointed behind him.

"Turn around Toby, Turn around."

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

The next morning, we all woke up bright and early for Wax Stan's memorial service. And when I say early I mean early. The sun hadn't even risen yet. Why Grunkle Stan was having it so early, I couldn't guess. Nobody complained though. It was easy to see that Grunkle Stan was still pretty upset over all this.

We were gathered in the parlor. It seemed a fitting room for the funeral to be in, seeing as it was the very room Wax Stan was made in. Soos, Dipper, and Mabel all sat in the front row, and I stood against the wall beside Mabel as all the other chairs were taken up by wax figures. I was feeling a bit unsettled by them, a bad feeling lodging itself into my gut. I didn't have time to dwell on it though, as stan had taken the podium.

"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, Thank you all for coming." Stan began as Soos blew his nose. "Some may say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"They're wrong!" Soos said passionately, standing to his feet.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're pickin' pockets in wax heaven." My heart went out to him as he started to tear up, running from the room yelling something about glitter. I knew something the others didn't. I knew this meant more to him than just a pile of wax sculpted to look like him. _Hang in there Stan, you'll get him back soon._

Soos chased after him, leaving us kids in the room alone. Well, relatively alone at least. Dipper sighed.

"Those cops were right about me." He said, sinking into his seat.

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now!" Mabel said. I pushed myself off the wall with my shoulder.

"Yeah, she's right. I mean, there's gotta be something we overlooked." I offered. Dipper stood up and walked over to the open coffin.

"But I considered everything! The weapon, the motive, the clues." I got to work thinking over what we had. A left handed ax, footprints with holes, no fingerprints on the weapon. _This makes no sense._

"Huh, Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it." Dipper pointed out. I looked up. _What?_

"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealies.." Mabel answered. I started walking toward my siblings.

 _Could it be?_ As Dipper was figuring it out, so was I. I opened my mouth to speak when a hand covered it, another grabbing my arm.

"Mabel, the murderers are-"

"Standing right behind you." I looked up, and right behind me, holding me in a surprisingly strong grip, was Sherlock Holmes. Or should I say, Wax Sherlock Holmes. _Am I always gonna play the role of captive?_

All around me, the wax figures came to life one by one. "Wax Sherlock Holmes. Wax Shakespeare! … Wax Coolio?" Wax Sherlock and I walked toward the front and I was shoved into Dipper.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh." Mabel said as Wax Lizzie Borden took her ax from her. Dipper pushed us girls behind him bravely as we all coward' against the coffin behind us. _So this is why I was getting that odd feeling from the wax figures. They're all alive! I have got to listen to my gut more often!_

"Congratulations my three amateur sleuths, you have unburied the truth. Now we're going to bury you." He pointed his overly large magnifying glass toward us menacingly. All the other Wax figures gathered around us, effectively trapping us where we were. Like cornered rats.

"Bravo Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." Wax Holmes said as he pulled Wax Stan's head from his trench coat. "And it seems your older sister figured it out as well." He said, looking my way. I shivered. He turned around. "Applaud everyone, applaud sarcastically." He ordered. The other figures clapped their hands genuinely. "Uh no, that sounds to sincere. Slow clap, there we go. Nice and condescending.

"But, how is this possible? You're made of wax!" Dipper stated, as if that wasn't obvious. In his defense, this was a pretty freaky situation.

"Are you magic?" Mabel asked. Wax Sherlock started chuckling.

"Magic! She want's to know if we're magic!" He turned back to us and slammed his hand on the coffin right beside Dipper's head, making all three of us jump as he towered over us. "We're cursed!" He shouted. If he wasn't made of wax, he would have probably spit on us. He backed up as the other statues started yelling "Cursed!", giving us a little breathing room.

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A haunted garage sale son!" Wax Coolio jumped in, freaking us out just a tad more. Wax Sherlock continued.

"And so the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day we would be the playthings of man." Wax Sherlock seemed almost to shiver, as though recalling terrible memories. Coolio continued for him.

"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night." He said.

"It was a charmed life for us wax beings. That is, until your uncle closed up shop." With this, the wax replica of a famous fictional detective turned toward us with an angry expression on his wax face. "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away, but we got the wrong guy." He finished. I stepped up.

"Wait wait wait, you were actually gonna _kill_ the real Stan? Are you _nuts_!?" I shouted, my hands moving to my head in disbelief.

"You were right all along Dipper, Wax people _are_ creepy." Mabel said behind me.

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must die." With that, all the wax figure's eyes started rolling up and they advanced, forcing us backwards towards the refreshment table. _Oh man oh man oh man!_

"What do we do? What do we do!?" Mabel asked in a panic. I looked around frantically for an option, finding nothing.

"I don't know." Dipper said. Then he reached behind him and started throwing random stuff from the table at them, us girls following his lead. Finally, Dipper's hands caught the coffee mug thing and he threw it into Wax Genghis Khan's face, turning it into a melted mess.

"That's it! We can melt them with hoty meltey things!" Mabel said. The twins both grabbed the decorative candles on the table, leaving me empty handed.

As my siblings stepped forward with their weapons, I took out the only one I had. My pocket knife. I looked down at it. _Ugh! This won't help at all! Why couldn't I have found, like, a machete or something in the shop that day?_ I looked up and my eyes fell upon the poker sticking out of the fireplace. _Perfect._

I dived for it just as a headless Wax Robin Hood came barreling toward me. Grabbing the hot poker, I turned around just in time to stab the green clad wax man in the chest. I pulled my weapon back and stabbed him again, then again, then a few more times, before I chopped him in half.

Dipper jumped up beside me, having just sent his candle right through his own opponent. "Joke's on you Groucho!" He said smugly.

"I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous. Hey why is there nothing in my hand?"

There was a grunt from the right the caught our attention. We both looked over to see Wax Genghis Khan charging us. I jumped to the right as Dipper jumped to the left, both of us getting splashed with wax as the stupid giant of a wax figure jumped right into the fire.

"Ha Genghis Khan! You fell hotter then the, ah, I don't know, Gin dynasty?" Dipper ran back into the fray. I got up and only took a few steps before I had to duck to avoid being beheaded. I jumped backwards as the ax was swung towards my chest.

"Holy crap! Give a girl some warning you crazy waxy axy lady!" I shouted as Wax Lizzie Borden raised her ax for another swing. I dodged again, but not fast enough to save my hair. The left side of my already barely shoulder length hair was shortened even further, now only reaching just above my chin. I was just glad I still had a head.

Before she could try again, I used my hot poker to chop the arm she was holding her ax with, causing it to clang to the floor. She cried out in anger and ran at me. I just backed up toward the fire and when we were close enough, I stepped to the side and shoved her in with my foot.

"That's what ya get for messing with my hair." I said with a huff. I didn't have time to inspect the damage.

"Dipper watch out!"

Mabel's fearful shout grabbed my attention and my head spun around to find Wax Sherlock coming up behind my little brother. I saw him stick Wax Stan's head on the horn of a stuffed rhino head, then grab a sword off the wall. I ran towards them as the evil wax figure knocked the decorative candle from Dipper's hands.

"Dipper! Catch!" I called out, throwing my weapon to him. He caught it just in time to block a blow from his adversary. I could only watch as Dipper was backed out of the room.

I heard a cry of help from Mabel, turning top find that the other wax figures were surrounding her. Now without a weapon, I ran at them with a battle cry and slammed into the wax queen, knocking her into the fire. Me and Mabel worked together to defeat the rest of the wax fiends, me kicking and shoving them toward the fire or my sister's candle, till they were all finished.

My sister and I sighed in relief, then got to work throwing the remains into the fireplace, though I was starting to get worried about Dipper.

"Though our group be cleft in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" The severed head of Wax Shakespeare said.

Mabel picked him up. "You know any limericks?" She asked the head.

"Uh, there once was a dude from Kentucky." He tried.

"Nope!" Mabel said as she tossed the now screaming head into the fire. That's when Dipper walked in.

"Oh thank goodness." I said, letting out another sigh of relief to see my little brother was unharmed.

"Dipper, you're okay!" Mabel shouted with joy. "You solved the mystery after all."

"I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks" He said as he got Wax Stan's head down from the rhino.

"Sorry Dipper, Mabel, but you two are the sidekicks." I said with a wide grin.

"What? No way sis!"

"Says who? Are people saying that? Have you heard that?"

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?" Grunkle Stan shouted as he walked in, the sun now shining in through the window.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death!"

"I stabbed Robin Hood with a hot fire poker!"

"I decapitated Larry King."

We stood there looking at him, waiting for him to blow up. He laughed instead. "You kids and your imaginations!"

"On the bright side, look what we found." Dipper pulled the wax head from behind his back and threw it to our grunkle.

"My head, ha ha! I missed this guy." He looked up at us smiling. "You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogieing." We all protested at first, then just laughed as Grunkle Stan gave us those mentioned noogies.

We were interrupted by the sound of a police siren outside. We turned to the broken window to see Blubs and Durland in their cruiser.

"Solve the case yet boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my coffee." He then proceeded to take said long, slow sip as I giggled, knowing he would regret that.

"Actually the answer is yes." Dipper said, holding up the missing head. With this, the sheriff did a spit take right into his deputy's face, causing him to scream and spit his own coffee into Blubs face, and so it continued till they both drove away screaming.

Us Pines laughed at their pain. Hey, they deserved it! Well, maybe they didn't deserve to crash, but, oh well.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" Dipper asked.

"I am ninety nine percent sure we did." Mabel answered.

"Good enough for me." Dipper said. Then he turned to me and his eyes widened.

"Megan, what happened to your hair? It's lopsided!" He said, pointing to me. I put a hand to the left side of my hair as the others stared at it, tilting their heads.

"Yeah, it got chopped by that crazy wax woman with the ax." I answered. Mabel walked over to me and waved her hand where my hair used to be.

"I could chop the other side to match for you." She offered. I thought about it, walking over to a wall mirror.

"Ya know, I kinda like it. It's unique!" I stated with a smile.

"Yeah, it's unique alright. You'll be tilting heads everywhere." Stan joked. I elbowed him playfully, then looked back to Mabel.

"You could neaten it up a bit for me. That would be nice." I said. She shot me a thumbs up.

"And speaking of neatening up, you three are gonna spend the rest of the day cleaning this room up." Stan announced. We all groaned.

 **OoOoOoOoOoO**

 **(A/N) Man, this was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG! I hope I can make all my other chapters this long! XD. Oh, and I never want to type the word wax ever again. Lol! Don't forget to fave, follow, and review! C'ya next time!  
**


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